


In Dark Corners

by twdsunshine



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Prison, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:12:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twdsunshine/pseuds/twdsunshine
Summary: Prison AU.  When Daryl Dixon pays a visit to the prison doctor, Alexa Rushmore, with bruises that he can’t explain, she takes an interest in his story, wondering what exactly would bring a man like that to a place like this.  But, when a riot breaks out and chaos reigns, will she turn to the quiet redneck that offers to keep her safe, or will her loyalty be to the guards that have warned her about the risks of getting too close to an inmate, especially one who’s capable of murdering his own flesh and blood?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was a work in progress even as I started writing it. By which I mean, it’s really unusual for me to start something without having the whole plot mapped out from start to finish. But all I knew with this one was that I wanted to write a Daryl prison AU, and, honestly, I think it turned out okay. I really hope you agree. Thank you for checking it out! Remember, feedback is GOLD and I really do appreciate every comment, kudos, etc. Thanks again and happy reading!
> 
> [Disclaimer-ish type thing: Yeah, so I know nothing about prisons. My knowledge is literally gained from Prison Break and Orange Is The New Black, so I have taken some artistic licence with this and pretty much just made it up as I go along. Go easy on me!]

Alexa was tired.  It had been a long day and her eyes had that grainy feeling that could only be attributed to a lack of sleep.  It was warm in her office which did nothing to relieve her lethargy, the sun filtering in where the ends of her ageing plastic blind had bent away from the window frame, and she stretched, feeling the muscles in her back complain after sitting in her chair for most of her shift.  Long, delicate fingers ran through her hair, working the knots free from her ponytail before twisting it up into a messy bun and securing it with another band, allowing the wafts of air from the fan in the corner to cool her neck as it swivelled slowly from side to side, clicking quietly.  She had less than an hour left to go before she could leave behind the thick, concrete walls and head home, and the second-hand of the clock seemed to be rotating impossibly slowly, taunting her with the promise of freedom.

When she’d decided at the age of thirteen that her future was in medicine, she hadn’t exactly pictured herself in a place like this.  Carrington prison was a bleak blot on the landscape, a collection of long, squat buildings with barred windows and high fences, curls of barbed wire protecting the perimeters and ensuring that nobody tried to scale their heights to make their escape.  The inmates were largely redneck brutes, locked up when their drunken aggression had gotten out of hand one too many times, and, in all honesty, some of the guards weren’t much better.  It wasn’t a penitentiary for the thinking man, that was for sure, and yet, if she was honest, she didn’t mind her work.  She’d fallen in to it when a poorly judged affair had forced her to quit her old job at a surgery a few towns over with no notice, and yet she’d stayed for nearly four years now.  She was a creature of routine, of habit, and she liked the set hours she worked each week, the familiar rotation of faces on her nursing staff, and even the daily security checks she had to run through to be admitted into the facility.  Plus, it was only a twenty minute drive from home, so, really, life could’ve been worse.

Speaking of… Her eyes flicked to the clock once more, and she sighed when she realised she still had over half an hour to go.  She’d completed her paperwork on the patients she’d seen since she’d started work at eight that morning, and the two that remained were safely secured to the bunks in the next room, being tended to by the nurse on shift, a sparkly-eyed lady called Yvonne with wide hips and a friendly smile.  She’d ensure that they were fed and watered before lights out, and watch over them through the night, just in case.  So, really, there was little more for Alexa to do, and she stifled a yawn as she sat back in her chair and toed off her heels, drumming her fingers on her desk.  She could, she supposed, slot the few files that were still lying on top of her printer, waiting to be put away, into the filing cabinet.  That might pass a couple of minutes at least.

It was while her back was turned to the door as she did exactly that that she heard a stiff knock, and she cursed under her breath.  Wasn’t that always the damn way?  So close to escaping and now she’d probably be stuck here past her knock-off time.  Still, she was the only doctor on duty and so she had an obligation to deal with whatever was waiting for her.

‘Come in.’

She was met by the stern face of Bob Daniels, thin lips hidden by a thick greying moustache, eyes narrowed beneath bushy brows.  ‘Afternoon, Doc.  Need you to take a look at Dixon. Someone’s bloodied him up good.’

‘Right.’  She turned back to the files and began to flick through them again, searching for the D’s.  ‘Got a first name for me?’

‘First name?’ the officer called, voice gruff as he addressed his charge.

‘Daryl,’ came the mumbled reply.

‘Daryl,’ Bob confirmed.

‘Can’t find his record,’ Alexa told him, pushing the drawer closed with her hip, suddenly very aware that her feet were still bare.  Not the most professional way to be found in her office, though she supposed it didn’t really matter, especially in the height of summer.

‘You won’t,’ Bob replied.  ‘He’s not been with us long.  Couple of weeks, that right?’  Daryl must’ve nodded, because Bob grunted before continuing.  ‘Probably scheduled for his check-up with you sometime in the next few days.  Would’ve been due to see McCauley before he went off sick.’

Doctor McCauley was the other full-time doctor on the staff, and Alexa’s senior in terms of years and authority, but he’d been signed off about ten days ago.  No one was really sure why, but it had left her with a backlog of initial checks to work through.  All the inmates were given physicals on their arrival, their details taken and filed away, just in case they should ever be needed.  It was time-consuming but systematic, and Alexa dropped back down in front of her computer to pull up the forms she needed, and hit print.

‘Alright.  I guess I’ll take care of that, too, while he’s here.’  The paper surged into the out-tray and she collected it, marking her patient’s name out in clear capital letters at the top. She glanced up, meeting Bob’s eyes and giving a sharp nod.  ‘You can send him in.’

The door opened further and Bob stood back against it, eyes following the hunched figure that shuffled inside.  Alexa’s eyes did as they were trained, focusing in on the inmate number that was marked out above the pocket of the standard prison-issue shirt, orange and poorly fitted, and copying it into the correct box on the form as Daryl sat down in the chair across from her.

‘You want him cuffed, doc?’

She lifted her gaze to take in the appearance of the man now waiting for her care. He was older than her, early forties, she thought, though she’d confirm that later, and he had a mess of dark hair that fell across his face and scruff on his chin that was peppered with grey.  Though his mouth was drawn in a tight line and he was pulling on his fingers agitatedly, she felt no threat from him and she shook her head.  ‘No, it’s fine.’

‘I’ll be right outside.  Holler if you need me.’

The door clicked closed behind him as he left, and she found herself leaning forward to study Daryl more intently, even as he ducked his head to try to hide his face.  His right eye was swelling, the skin around it puffy and already a vivid purple-red.  His skin was split just above his brow, blood trickling from the cut and down around the outline of his eye socket, and she could see the beginnings of bruising coming out around his cheekbone.  More blood oozed from another split in his lip, and from the way he was holding himself, she was sure there was further damage beneath his clothes.

‘Boy, they sure made a mess of you.’  Her tone was light, breezy, her usual method of putting her patients at their ease.  It didn’t much matter to her whether they deserved her kindness.  It made them easier to treat when they were relaxed, so she treated them all the same, no matter what it was that had put them in there.  But Daryl barely acknowledged that she’d spoken, and she ducked her head, reaching over to place a single finger beneath his chin and ease his face up so that he’d meet her eyes.  His own were a piercing, crystal blue, icy cold and tinged with sadness, and she quickly withdrew her touch.  ‘What?  You’re not gonna tell me I should’ve seen the other guy?’

A shrug.  Maybe.  The movement was too small and indistinct for her to really tell, but it was something, so she pressed on.  ‘So, it’s Daryl, right?  Daryl Dixon?’

A nod.

‘You got a middle name, Daryl?’

‘William.’  He spat the word as though it offended him, and she opened her mouth to question his attitude, but let it fall shut again, deciding not to press the issue.  They had enough to cover without letting her curiosity drag the appointment out even longer.

‘Great, thanks.’  She laid down her pen and crossed one leg over the other, remembering as she did so that her heels were still lying haphazardly beneath her desk.  She pressed on regardless, lacing her fingers together in her lap as she addressed him.  ‘So, Daryl, I’m Doctor Rushmore.  I’m one of two full-time physicians on the staff at Carrington.  If you need to see me for any reason, or you have any concerns about your health or wellbeing, you just need to let  a guard know and they’ll bring you here for the next available appointment, okay?’

He was chewing at his thumbnail now, grimacing when it put pressure on his cut lip, though it didn’t stop his nervous movements.

‘Or you can just get yourself in this state and you get fast-tracked up the list,’ she teased, gently, still testing the waters, pushing to get him to open up a little, and she was pleased when his hand fell to his lap, and a slight smirk quirked his mouth.  ‘You gonna tell me who did this to you, Daryl?’

‘Nah.’  It was the second word she’d managed to get out of him so far, but it was said with far less venom than his previous answer, so she figured that was progress.

‘If somebody’s hurt you-’

‘Was my fault.  I was askin’ for it.’

‘I’m almost certain you weren’t.’  Alexa was growing increasingly concerned.  She knew that loyalty among the inmates was strong.  An us-versus-them mentality was rife within the prison system in her experience, and honestly, it wasn’t all that surprising.  But she immediately felt that there was more to this.  Call it her intuition, honed after too long spent working with mistrustful men who eyed her as though she were the enemy, but this one felt different.  ‘I can see they’ve busted your face up pretty bad.  They hurt you anywhere else?’

Silence.

‘You’re sitting pretty stiff there, Daryl.  You’re obviously in pain.  This will be much easier if you just tell me where, okay?’

He huffed quietly, but then his shoulders slumped and he nodded slowly.  ‘Ribs.  Achin’ like a bitch.  Don’ reckon they’re broken or nothin’ though.’

‘You got a lot of experience with broken ribs?’ she asked, half-smiling at his self-diagnosis, but when his face fell, an impressive feat from a man who’d looked bereft from the second he’d walked in, she knew she must’ve touched on a sensitive issue.  ‘I’ll take a look at them in a minute, see if we need to strap you up or get an x-ray taken.  Anywhere else?’

‘Nah.’

‘Alright then.’  Turning back to her papers, she picked up her pen again and clicked the top, nibbling at the end as she took in the details they needed to cover.  ‘Well, while I’ve got you here, I’m just gonna run through some questions, make sure we’ve got all the information we need on file.  Then we’ll do some of the physical checks and I’ll get you patched up.  Okay?’

‘Sure.’

 

* * *

 

Alexa’s finish time came and went as she scribbled down Daryl’s details.  He answered each question as concisely as possible, barely giving away anything other than the basic facts. She discovered that she’d been right about his age, and when she’d asked about his medical history, it had been a long list of hospital admittances for broken bones, burns, gashes…  She’d stopped him eventually, rewording her question just to check that he wasn’t receiving any ongoing treatment, on any medication or had any complications that might affect his ability to complete work duty.

‘Nah, I can work,’ he told her.  ‘I wanna work.  Makes the time go quicker.’

‘Better check those ribs then.’

She’d guided him over to the medical bench where he was now perched, and motioned for him to remove his shirt.  He’d hesitated, unsure, and she’d taken a step away.  Her experience had taught her that inmates had a tendency to dislike feeling vulnerable and taking off their shirts over their heads rendered them blind.  It was only for a moment on two as the fabric passed over their eyes, but it was enough to set them on edge, and giving them their distance usually ensured that they complied with her instructions.

But with Daryl, even as she gave him some space, she still sensed that same tension, sending a chill down her spine, and, as his fingers gripped the edge of the bench, his knuckles were white.

‘Hey, I’m here to help,’ she reminded him gently, and he nodded, his hair falling over his eyes as he inhaled shakily.  And then he tugged his shirt up, just enough to reveal a firm stomach and barrel chest, making no effort to remove it completely.  ‘Okay then.’

His body was pale in comparison to the sun-blessed tan of his arms and face, and the skin over his ribs was mottled with lurid blotches that she knew would be black and blue by the end of the week.  He stiffened as her fingers brushed against him, his eyes flickering closed, and she worked quickly, exerting pressure here and there, and watching his face for any sign of pain.  Once he gasped, a hoarse rasp before he recovered his stoicism, and she focused on that area, feeling along the bones with skilled hands.  Finally, she straightened up, and he let his shirt fall back into place.

‘Well, I don’t think there’s anything broken,’ she told him, moving back towards her desk and making a note on her examination paper.  ‘You’re gonna be hurting for a while though.  Somebody wanted you to remember this, huh?’

She was probing again and, when she turned back to him, she knew he knew it.  His eyes had crinkled slightly at the edges and a small smile was tugging at the corners of his lips. ‘Yeah, ya can bet on it.’

‘Daryl-‘

‘Don’ ask me again, doc.’

‘But our job here is to keep you safe.  We can’t do that if we don’t know who’s hurting you.’

‘Don’ need no protection.’

‘You might think that, but-‘

‘Stop.’  He eased himself down from the bench, flinching when his feet hit the floor, jarring his battered body.  ‘Ya don’t wanna know, alright?  Ya just don’t.’

The exchange, although brief, was the most he’d spoken whilst he’d been in the room with her, and she opened her mouth to argue again, but he was rubbing a hand over the back of his head and glancing towards the door.

‘We done here?’

‘No.’  She crossed the room, pulling open a small cabinet on the wall beside the window and pulling out a small box.  ‘That cut over your eye’s still bleeding.  It’s gonna need a couple of butterfly stitches.’

He made no move to sit as she approached him, and she was forced to reach up to apply the strips, feeling very small as he towered over her.  He stayed completely still as she worked, barely even breathing, and, when her gaze flicked down from the wound she was sealing, his eyes were fixed on her face.  Her breath caught in her throat at the raw intensity of his expression, and she tripped as she took a step back, thrown off by the moment that she didn’t quite understand.  A strong arm was around her waist, steadying her, before she’d even realised what had happened and she found herself jumping as though his touch burned.  He released her immediately and she straightened her shirt, clearing her throat, anything to avoid looking at him, her cheeks flushing with heat.

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, and she found that he looked just as awkward as she was sure she did.  ‘Thought ya might- I din’t want ya to-‘

‘It’s fine,’ she interrupted, reassuring him, trying to calm herself and regain control of the situation.  ‘I’m okay.  Thank you.’  When he didn’t speak, continuing just to watch in that way that she found disconcerting, even as her mouth went dry, she nodded towards the door.  ‘Okay, we’re done.  You can go.’

 

* * *

 

Daryl Dixon.

Alexa took a sip from her wine glass as she waited for the search engine to compile its results, nails drumming lazily against the arm of the couch.  She’d finally made it home, a little over an hour later than she should’ve, and she’d thrown together a quick dinner of chicken salad and flicked on the TV, hoping that some mindless drama might distract her busy mind.  But her mind refused to be fooled in such a way, and so she’d eaten with her last patient’s face imprinted on her brain.  There was something about him… She couldn’t put her finger on what it was.  It was just a feeling.  He wasn’t like the other men that filed in through her office door.  His reluctance seemed to be borne from more than just a problem with authority, a resentment of her position.  It seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him, as though he felt he didn’t belong in the skin he was trapped in, or that he was offending her just by his sheer presence in the room with her.  Like he didn’t think he was worthy of her time.

She was more relaxed at home than in her work environment.  She’d changed into a pair of loose sweatpants as soon as she’d walked in the door, swapping her shirt for a tank-top and releasing her long, auburn waves from their bands to tumble around her shoulders.  It was an easy way of switching out of office mode, or so she usually found, but tonight she was finding it hard to switch off, and her impatience grew as she waited for the search to complete.

A list of hits flashed up, and she found her eyes immediately drawn to the news articles at the top of the page, dated several weeks ago.  

_BLOODY END FOR FAMILY MAN_

_FATHER OF TWO MURDERED BY SON_

_PSYCHO KILLER STABS DAD TO DEATH_

Her breath caught in her throat as she clicked on the first link only to see Daryl’s face staring out at her from the page.  He appeared less wretched than he had in her office that afternoon, but he still had that same haunted look in his eyes, that same surly set to his mouth.  He looked younger too, and she thought it must have been an old photo dug out from who knew where.  She couldn’t deny her surprise though as she began to read.  The one thing he didn’t look like was a murderer.

_Local man William Dixon was found dead in his home yesterday, following a brutal stabbing that is reported to have punctured several major organs.  The attack was called in by a neighbour in the early hours who reported hearing loud shouts and swearing coming from the house, but, by the time officers arrived, Mr Dixon had already died of his injuries._

_His son, Daryl Dixon, was found at the scene and arrested for the murder.  He is currently being held awaiting trial, though sources say he plans to plead guilty._

_William Dixon is also survived by his eldest son, Merle, whose whereabouts is currently unknown._

Alexa shook her head, taking another sip of her drink and swirling it around her tongue as she processed the information.  She didn’t understand it at all.  It wasn’t like she looked into the background of all of her patients - in fact she made a point of knowing as little as possible about why they’d ended up behind bars - but she knew she dealt with some nasty characters.  Carrington held not only murderers, but also rapists and paedophiles.  Sometimes she’d glance up from her desk and feel immediately uneasy as an inmate looked her up and down, and she’d ask the guard to ensure that they were cuffed to the chair before starting her examination.  But she hadn’t gotten that vibe from Daryl at all.  In fact, she’d gotten closer to him than she perhaps would have another prisoner, allowing him to stand while she fixed the cut above his eye.  He was bigger than her, stronger, and she’d put herself in a vulnerable position doing that, but not once had she felt unsafe.

She swallowed hard and sighed.  Maybe she wasn’t quite as good at reading people as she thought, though after four years in the job, her instincts hadn’t let her down yet.

 

* * *

 

The sun was beaming down once again as Alexa pulled her car into her spot in the parking lot, winding the window up before cutting the engine and stepping out.  Her shift started a little later on a Thursday, and she’d needed the lie-in after spending several hours of the night tossing and turning.  She wasn’t sure what had brought on the bout of restlessness, but each time she’d closed her eyes, she’d seen Daryl’s face.  It wasn’t like her to take her work home, and she was feeling unsettled.

Her trip through security was swift and methodical, and she grabbed her handbag from the tray where it had been placed after being searched and slung it over her shoulder as she headed out of the building to make the short journey to the infirmary.  Her path took her along a fenced in walkway that snaked along the side of the prison’s exercise yard and she found herself scanning those already outside as she walked.  She wasn’t consciously looking for anybody, she told herself, but her eyes still fell on Daryl almost immediately as he stood a few feet away, a lit cigarette clamped between his lips.  As if sensing her presence, he turned, eyes landing on her and his hand paused on its way up to retrieve his smoke.  Without thinking, she raised a hand, and he returned it, shifting on the spot uncertainly, before picking his way over as she slowed to a halt.

‘Morning, doc.’

‘Morning.  How’re you feeling?’

‘M’fine.’   He shrugged, taking another toke on his cigarette and tapping the ash off against the fence wire.

‘Really?’  She quirked an eyebrow at him and smiled knowingly.  ‘Would’ve thought you’d still be pretty sore.’

‘Maybe.’  He glanced around the yard, almost like a man who was watching his back, though he didn’t seem afraid.  

‘I wrote up my report after you left,’ she told him.  ‘Made sure to put in it that you won’t be fit to start work duty for a couple of weeks.  Sorry, I know you were keen to stay busy.’

‘Ain’t like they’d assigned me to nothin’ yet anyway,’ he muttered, and she could sense his frustration.  Maybe there was more anger bubbling below the surface than she’d first thought.  Or maybe he was just struggling with the monotony of life on the inside.  Prison could make good men into monsters, or so she’d heard.  She wasn’t sure she’d come across a good man in Carrington yet.  

‘Well, if you want later on, ask Daniels to bring you by the office again.  Wouldn’t hurt to give you another look over, clean that cut up a little.’

He nodded and yet she sensed that he wouldn’t.  An awkward moment of silence followed, and she gave him a tight smile before turning to continue walking but, to her surprise, he fell into step at her side.  

‘Yer different from the rest of ‘em that work here,’ he observed, his eyes fixed on the ground, fingertips still clutching the half-inch that remained of his smoke.  ‘Nicer.  If I saw ya out there, wouldn’a put ya in a place like this.’

‘Yeah, well, life never works out how we think it will,’ she hedged, with a hint of resignation in her voice, but the humourless chuckle that answered her made her realise how that must sound to a man with endless years of time stretching out ahead of him.  ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean-’

‘Nah, I get it.’  Finally accepting that his cigarette was done, he dropped it to the ground, grinding it out with the toe of his boot.  

‘If it means anything, I wouldn’t exactly place you in here if I passed you on the street either,’ she admitted.  When she glanced back over at him, he was gnawing on his bottom lip, worrying at the cut, and she found that  she wanted to tug it away to stop him from making it worse.  Then he raised his head and met her eyes, and she felt her cheeks flush with heat.

‘Yeah, well, life never works out how we think it will.’  A small smirk finally released his lip from his teeth as he raised an eyebrow at her, and she shook her head as he strode away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna have to throw out another disclaimer with this chapter, I’m afraid. So, obviously, I’m not a doctor. I have no real medical knowledge. The details in this chapter are pretty much cobbled together from my obsession with Hart of Dixie and my boyfriend’s frequent re-watching of Black Hawk Down. I hope it isn’t too terrible but, please, just go with it!

The next week passed uneventfully.  As Alexa had thought, Daryl hadn’t asked to be brought by her office for a check-up and, though she managed to pick out his lonely figure in the yard most mornings on her way into work, he made no move to engage her in conversation again.  She couldn’t deny that her curiosity was still piqued, but she knew that it was probably for the best that he was keeping his distance.  Inmates were inmates.  Regardless of what vibe she got from them, they were in Carrington for a reason, and it didn’t pay to get too close.  Her job was simply to ensure that they were in good health, patch them up, dish out whatever medication was required, and send them on their way.  She’d done that so there was no reason for the deep-seated concern she felt for the quiet man that had stirred up something inside of her that she couldn’t explain.

It was Alexa’s weekend off, the prison governor having roped in a doctor from a local hospital to help out and allow her some downtime with McCauley still noticeably absent, and so she entered the infirmary on Friday morning with a slight spring in her step.  Yvonne was already there, just leaving the small ward with a wide grin on her face and Alexa couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the older lady’s usual giant buzz of black hair tamed into neat little braids that criss-crossed over her head.  It was a sure sign that her daughter had been to visit with her grandson, and that always put the nurse in a good mood.

‘Morning, Von.  How’s it going?’

‘Sunshine and rainbows, Lexi, love.’  Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she picked up a box of newly delivered bandages and carried them across to the cupboards that lined one wall.  ‘How’re you doing, sweetheart?’

‘Not bad at all.’  Alexa pushed into her office and deposited her handbag on her desk, shrugging out of her coat, before heading back out to help the nurse unpack the fresh stock.  ‘I have an entire weekend off so I am just counting down the hours!’

‘Rub it in, why don’t you?’ Yvonne chided, teasingly.

‘And how’s Henrietta?’

‘Oh, love, my Hennie’s doing good, and that boy o’ hers… Why, he’s gonna be quite the ladykiller one of these days.  Handsome as all get out already, I swear.’  Alexa laughed as Yvonne continued.  ‘Take it that means you’ve already noticed the new ‘do.’

‘Soon as I walked in,’ she confirmed.  ‘You look great!’

‘Perks of having a hairdresser for a daughter.  Ain’t no excuse for not looking sharp!’  Her smile faltered a little as the door to the infirmary swung open and a young guard, fresh-faced and slightly scared looking, stepped inside, guiding a cuffed inmate with a visible rash over his arms.  ‘Not that it’s appreciated in this dive.’

‘I appreciate it, Von,’ Alexa reassured her, squeezing her shoulder as she passed her, already moving towards her office.  ‘And so the madness begins.  You wanna bring him through?’

 

* * *

 

It was a busy one.  Alexa felt that she didn’t stop as one inmate after another materialised in the chair in her office, bringing with them a colourful array of different ailments, from migraines to suspected kidney stones, to a sprained ankle from a game of basketball that had gotten out of hand in the yard.  She dealt with them all with her own brand of detached professionalism, keeping her tone light, her attitude calm and relaxed, but fixating very much on the problem as opposed to the actual person that she was helping.  It worked for her and she was sure it was as much kindness as the inmates received from anyone in the facility.

She’d been long overdue her lunch break when Yvonne burst through the door, eyes wide as she gestured for the doctor to follow her from the room.  ‘You’re needed out here, Lex!  Got a bad one!’

Alexa couldn’t help the small huff that escaped her as she pushed herself to her feet, her stomach grumbling at being denied the sandwich which she knew was tucked away in her bag.  It sure wasn’t about to be fed anytime soon.  Yvonne had already disappeared, but the worst cases were always treated in the one private room the infirmary had on offer, more like a broom cupboard than anything else, only accessible through the main ward, with just one bed and a cupboard loaded with emergency supplies.  Sure enough, she could hear movement inside as she strode towards it and the coppery tang of blood hung in the air.

She pushed inside, eyes scanning the situation, figuring out what was needed, letting her instincts take over.  The nurse was leaning over the body in the bed, both hands applying pressure to a bundle of wadding that was pressed to the inmate’s thigh, and already Alexa could see that it was becoming saturated.  The guard that had brought the prisoner in was standing beside the doorway, a deep frown darkening his heavily-lined features, and Alexa looked to him for more information as she crossed to the supply cupboard and began to gather more wadding and bandages for the man’s wound.

‘Bob?’

Bob Daniels shook his head, glancing her way briefly before turning his attention back to the patient.  ‘Dixon again, doc.  Boy just can’t seem to stay outta trouble.’

Alexa’s breath caught in her throat.  She hadn’t yet been in a position to see the inmate’s face and now she was glad.  A burden of guilt settled on her shoulders as she rounded the bed to work opposite Yvonne, ready to replace the nurse’s hands with her own.  She should’ve known this would happen.  He’d been pretty badly beaten before and the way he’d spoken about it, she should’ve known it would only get worse.  But then, he’d refused to tell her who it was that had targeted him, and so her hands had been tied.  She couldn’t force him to talk.  As her eyes flicked to his face, pale and shimmering with a thin layer of sweat, scrunched up against the pain, she only wished she’d tried harder.

‘Has somebody called an ambulance?’

‘Soon as it happened,’ Bob confirmed.  ‘S’gonna be a while though.  There’s a burst water main on the other side of town and it’s causing tailbacks all the way along Spencer Avenue.  No way around it, from what the gal on the phone was saying.’

‘Dammit.’  There was too much blood.  How long would the traffic delay the paramedics by?  A half hour?  An hour?  Longer?  She pressed her fingers to the pulse point in his throat, grimacing at how cool his skin felt to the touch.  ‘Shit, he’s tachycardic.  Yvonne-’

‘I’ll set up an IV.’  She was already moving, fetching what she needed as Alexa continued to keep pressure on the wound.  ‘I’ll grab a tourniquet too.’

Alexa gave a tight nod, though she already knew that it wouldn’t be enough.  ‘Alright, I’m gonna have to deal with this.’

‘Can you?’  Yvonne was observing her through narrowed eyes as she hooked the bag of solution onto the stand.  ‘No offence, Lex, I mean, you’re good and all, but isn’t this a little bloodier than you’re qualified to get?’

‘I did a surgical rotation in med school.’  Alexa tried to keep her voice calm, steady.  It had been interesting, a brief foray into the world of scalpels and neon lights, but she’d ultimately decided it wasn’t for her, and it certainly hadn’t prepared her for this.  ‘It’ll be fine.  I just need to…’

What?  What did she need to do?  Her mind was reeling at the prospect of what was required of her, how totally out of her depth she was, and she swallowed hard, needing a moment, just one moment to gather herself.

‘I need to clean up,’ she heard herself say, though she’d made no conscious decision to speak the words, and she hurried out into the ward, keeping her head down as she made for the small bathroom where she could wash and sterilise her hands.

The mirror above the sink showed her reflection and she took a deep breath as she studied herself, wide eyes full of panic, hair pulled back just a little too tight, skin as pale as the man bleeding out in her infirmary.  She had to do this.  She had to try.  Another breath.  In and out.  And one more, for luck, she supposed.  And then she squared her shoulders, ready to get back to work.

 

* * *

 

‘Shiv nicked an artery,’ Alexa explained as she peeled off her surgical gloves and tossed them into the hazardous waste bin.  ‘He’s lucky to still be alive.’

Forty minutes had passed since she’d entered the room to find Daryl bleeding out on the bed, and the ambulance was still nowhere to be seen.  She’d done the best job she could, pushing her anxiety aside and focusing on the task in hand, easing her fingers into the wound to find the problem and affix a clamp, stemming the bleeding until the tear could be patched or sutured.  She knew a qualified surgeon would be better placed to do the next part, but her intervention had seemed to slow the flow of blood for the time being, and a sigh of relief had fallen from her lips when she’d finally stepped away.

Daryl was sleeping now as Bob nodded slowly, sinking down into one of the chairs in the waiting area and rubbing a hand through his thinning hair.  ‘You did good work in there, doc.’

‘Thank you.’  Suddenly exhausted, she settled herself in the seat beside him, spine scraping against the hard plastic.  ‘Not a lot of choice.  He’d have died if I hadn’t tried.’

‘Pretty sure that’s what he was aiming for.’  Bob bowed his head, clasping his fingers together in his lap, almost as if he was praying.  ‘Don’t know what got into the boy, doc.  I saw it all, the whole thing.  He was spoiling for a fight, marched right up to a group of real bruisers – y’know the type, Ford and his cronies – and started getting right up in their faces.  He knew what he was doing, it was clear as day.  And they turned on him, sure enough.’

‘Why would he do that?’  Alexa couldn’t quite match the scenario being described with the quiet man that had sat in her office, head bowed, barely uttering a word unless prompted, but she could tell by Bob’s face that he was struggling with what he’d seen.  ‘He doesn’t strike me as the aggressive type.’

‘Well, that’s the thing.’  A humourless laugh escaped the guard and he shook his head.  ‘Wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.  Soon as they went for him, he stopped.  Shut his hole and just let them beat the holy hell out of him.  If he’d tried to hold them off, hold his own just for a minute, we might’ve got to him before it got this bad, but…  He was on the ground before we’d even made it across the yard.’

Their conversation was interrupted by the howl of sirens approaching, and Alexa shook off the implications of what she’d just heard.  She needed to focus now on ensuring that Daryl got the care he needed.  The rest would have to wait.  ‘Medics are here.  I need to get his paperwork done.’

‘Course.’  Bob too stood, already moving towards the door.  ‘I’ll have a chat with the boss.  See who we can get to go with him.  I guess they’ll wanna take him in.’

‘For a night at least,’ she agreed.  ‘They’ll need to repair the artery, stitch him up, keep an eye on him.  They’re better equipped to do that at the hospital.’

‘Got it.’

As he strode out into the corridor, Alexa could already hear the drumming of the paramedic’s footsteps on the floor as they hurried to answer the call and she raised a hand to greet them as they rounded the corner.

‘Doctor Rushmore?  We’ve been told you’ve got a patient for us.’

‘Yes.’  She held open the door to grant them access, reaching for the clipboard that she’d abandoned on the seats and clicking her pen so she could finish filling in the details as she spoke.  ‘Daryl William Dixon.  Mid-40s.  He was in a bad way when they brought him in.  Stab wound.  Blade had nicked the femoral artery so I had to go in and clamp it-‘

‘You did that?’  The uniformed man was regarding her with surprise as she nodded.

‘Yeah.  I had to.  He would’ve bled out if I hadn’t.’

‘Good for you,’ he told her, impressed.

‘You should probably wait to see my work before you say that.’  She forced a smile before continuing.  ‘The bleeding seems to be under control for now but I’m not confident it’ll hold when he’s moved.  I’m pretty sure he’s also got a broken collarbone but I haven’t had a chance to do an x-ray to confirm.’

‘Alright.’  The man took the clipboard from her hands as she offered it to him, skimming over her notes.  ‘You just point us in the right direction and we’ll go take a look at him.  I’m assuming he’ll need to be supervised when we take him in.’

‘Yeah.  It’s just being sorted now.’

She knew they would’ve been happy for her to just wave them through to the room where Daryl was recovering, but she didn’t want to let him leave without casting one final eye over him, so she led them instead, a little of the tension leaving her shoulders when she heard the gruff rasp of his voice through the doors.

When she entered, Yvonne was leaning over him again, adjusting the pillow beneath his head and instructing him quietly to stay as still as possible.  She looked up as Alexa stepped inside, the paramedics hot on her heels.  ‘Ah, there she is!  Your patient’s awake, Lexi.’

‘How’re you feeling?’  Alexa went straight to Daryl’s side, reaching out a hand to press to his forehead, relieved when his skin felt a little less clammy than it had when she’d left him.

‘Like shit,’ he bit out through gritted teeth.  'Hurts like hell.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m not surprised.’

‘Nurse told me ya might’a jus’ saved my life.’

‘Ah, no, it was-‘

‘It was a damned miracle, is what it was,’ Yvonne interrupted her modest protests and Alexa’s cheeks flushed with colour.

Daryl’s eyes locked with hers, his gaze intense despite the pain that he was so obviously suffering.  ‘Thanks, doc.’

‘Do you mean that?’  She couldn’t help but ask, though she never got her answer as she was ushered out of the way, the paramedics eager to start their examinations and get moving.

But Daryl’s stare stayed locked with hers, barely shifting as he nodded and shook his head and answered their questions in the same monotonous tone that he’d answered hers at their first meeting.  And she found herself unable to look away until she was forced to the side as he was wheeled out of the infirmary.

 

* * *

 

_Dixon’s back.  Thought you’d wanna know. Yx_

The text from her colleague woke Alexa on Sunday morning, and she stretched, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.  The blankets were tangled around her legs from where she’d tossed and turned through the night, and her tank top had risen to sit halfway up her stomach.  She’d slept badly, reliving her impromptu surgery in her dreams, each time with a different outcome: Daryl dying; Daryl waking as she’d worked and lashing out; Daryl rising up as a zombie and sinking his teeth into her throat; or, most disturbingly, Daryl surviving the process only to grasp a hold of her scalpel and plunge it into his chest.  The knowledge that he was back on her ward, which, presumably, meant he was recovering well, was exactly what she’d needed.

She rolled out of bed, stretching her arms above her head, already eager to shower and get out of the house.  She didn’t linger for long as the warm water drummed down on her skin, washing away the last traces of sleep and waking her more fully.  Once done, she dressed quickly, dark jeans and a plaid shirt, pulling her hair up with a claw-clip to keep it off of her face.  She skipped breakfast, deciding to grab something when she was in town, and only paused to shoulder her handbag before she locked up and dashed out to her car.

 

* * *

 

Yvonne’s face was knowing when Alexa sauntered into the infirmary, more casual than she would be on a working day, though her ID card was still pinned securely to her chest.  ‘Well, what do you know?  Just can’t stay away, can you, love?’

Alexa returned her smile, raising a hand to wave at the doctor who was providing her cover as he led an inmate into his office, and winking at the guard, the same young man who’d looked so afraid when he’d brought in her first patient of the day on Friday morning.  He looked a little less wary today, and Alexa was glad for him.  Not everyone was cut out for a place like Carrington, but those that were had to learn fast.

‘Where is he, Von?’

‘In the ward.  Got the place to himself for now, at least.’

‘How’s he doing?’

‘In good spirits.  Still dosed up on meds though.  Could probably use something stronger but rules are rules.’

Alexa nodded, pausing to take a deep breath, before she pushed open the door to the ward.  Daryl looked up as she entered and the hint of a smile graced his features before they fell back into his standard scowl.

‘Thought it was yer day off.  S’what the nurse said.’

‘It is,’ she told him as she pulled up a stool beside him and took a seat.  ‘But I heard you were back and I wanted to come by and check on you.’

‘Ya do that for all yer patients?’  He quirked one eyebrow at her and she let her gaze fall from his, wandering down to his shoulder as she took in the sling keeping his collarbone in place.  She wasn’t sure how to answer.  She could insist that she did but he’d know she was lying, and she wasn’t really sure she could explain her growing attachment to him and concern for his wellbeing.

In the end, she shrugged the question off.  ‘Wanted to see how much damage I’d managed to do.  They get you patched up properly in there?’

‘Good as new.  Well, ‘part from the damn shoulder.  Off work duty for another month at least.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’ be.’  Again, that half-smile ghosted over his lips, vanishing just as suddenly.  ‘If it weren’t for you, I’d’a been worm food so s’all relative, I guess.’

‘I had to try.’  She shrugged.  ‘Honestly, I was terrified.  Thought I was gonna end up doing more harm than good, but I couldn’t just…  I’m just glad you’re okay.’

She busied herself checking on his IV, smoothing the tape down where it had started to curl up at the edges, but found that her fingers were stilled by his hand covering hers.  ‘Seriously, doc, I owe ya one.  Thank you.’

His expression was more open than she’d ever seen it, and she swallowed hard as she sought to make the most of the moment.  ‘Daryl-‘

She was cut off as the door swung open and an inmate appeared, the arm of Bob Daniels wrapped around his midriff as he limped into the room.  ‘Got one needin’ a bed here, doc.’

Alexa snatched her hand back from Daryl’s as though scalded, and slid to her feet, shooting a tight smile at the officer as she scooped up her bag from the floor.  ‘Sorry, Bob, I’m off-duty.  Just dropped by to grab some things I forgot on Friday and thought I’d stick my head in and see how Dixon was getting on.  Glad to see you’re on the mend,’ she called over her shoulder as she left the room, cursing herself for letting him get too close once again.

 

* * *

 

Alexa didn’t pause to say goodbye as she hurried from the infirmary, not stopping until she was outside the fences, when she leant against her car and took a deep, calming breath.  She couldn’t describe it, the effect that Daryl had on her, but it was making her feel as though she were failing at her job.  He was different, she just knew it.  It was a feeling that she couldn’t shake and yet she also couldn’t even begin to try to explain his behaviour.  It didn’t seem to make a difference that she’d seen the details of his crimes spelled out before her in black and white.  She just couldn’t paint the man who held her so easily under that piercing blue gaze as a murderer, no matter how hard she tried, but with that certainty came the fear that her curiosity in him might just be her downfall.

‘You look like you could use one of these.’  She hadn’t heard Yvonne approach, offering a packet of cigarettes, which Alexa declined with a shake of her head.  The nurse already had one lit between her lips and she clasped it between two fingers, lowering it from her mouth to talk.  ‘You know, you’re far too attached to your work when it brings you runnin’ in on your weekend off, Lexi, love.  You gotta give yourself a break sometime.’

‘Look who’s talking.’  Alexa raised an eyebrow at her friend, and Yvonne returned her smile.  ‘Weren’t you on the night shift?  So, that means you should’ve been out of here, what, like, two hours ago?’

Yvonne shrugged, shoulders shaking with a laugh.  ‘Maybe, but I’m an old woman.  You’re still young.  You should be out, having fun, living life to the full.  Besides,’ she went on, ‘I like to make sure those men are being looked after properly.  The other nurses, they’re so cold.  Sometimes all somebody needs is a little kindness, especially when they’re feeling crappy, y’know?’

‘You’re too good for this place,’ Alexa observed, prompting another guffaw of laughter.  ‘Seriously, why do you stay here?  I know your Reggie retired last year, remember, and I’ve seen that hot new ride you’re driving round in.  You don’t need the money.  Why not get the hell out of here?’

‘Honestly?  You really wanna know?’  Yvonne’s smile had disappeared, though her eyes sparkled as she turned to lean against the car at Alexa’s side.  ‘Most of the men in there are brutes and no mistake.  I’d be surprised if there was a single soul in there to share between ‘em.  Closest thing to monsters that walk this damn earth.  But every so often, you get one that’s different.  Maybe he’s a little quieter, a little softer.  But you can just feel it.  He don’t belong in there, not like the others.  And maybe, just maybe, you can actually make a difference in that man’s life.’

It sounded eerily familiar to Alexa and she turned wide eyes on the older woman as she went on.

‘You got yourself one of those.  I can see it.  That Dixon guy, he’s pretty damn broken, but he ain’t no monster.  You could do some real good there, Lex.  Don’t throw that away.’


	3. Chapter 3

‘Alone again?’  Alexa tried to ignore the flutters that sprung up in her stomach when Daryl’s lips quirked in a smile, his eyes following her movements as she wandered into the otherwise empty ward.  The past week had been unusually quiet, with only a few minor injuries drifting in to take up bed space for an hour or two, before being swiftly discharged back to their cells.  More often than not, that had meant that, by the time evening rolled around, Daryl was laid up on his own, and it had quickly become part of her routine to stick her head in when her shift finished and spend some time at his side.

‘Looks like.’

‘Something you said?’  That was met by a scoff, but he offered no response, so she perched herself on the stool that was now permanently positioned by his bed and ran an appraising eye over his features.  The colour had returned to his face now, the bruises from the first attack faded and the cuts neatly sealed, though still visible.  It was likely that the one over his eye would scar, she knew, but she imagined that wouldn’t bother him much.  He looked healthier than she’d ever seen him, and that gave her a quiet sense of satisfaction, though she still worried what might happen when he was returned to Gen. Pop.  ‘How’re you doing?’

‘Good,’ he assured her.  ‘Pain’s less today.  Losin’ my mind in here though.’

‘I know.’  She genuinely felt for him.   It would be bad enough being stuck in there with the ongoing entertainment and company of the other inmates that were being kept under observation whilst they underwent treatment.  But to spend the majority of the day alone, staring at the same four walls, would be enough to drive anybody crazy.  ‘I’m sorry I can’t stop in more.  I would, but…’

But what?  It wasn’t like she was too busy.  She herself had spent most of the day twiddling her thumbs and conjuring up unnecessary admin tasks to fill her time.  No, it wasn’t that that stopped her.  The truth was, she was worrying about her own motivation and how it might look to her colleagues if she was seen to be spending too much time with one of her patients.  Honestly, she would quite happily spend all day with Daryl, engaging in casual conversation, and maybe trying to satisfy her own curiosity about the man.  She’d yet to have any of her questions answered, but she found him easy to talk to, being drawn to his quiet manner, the intensity of his gaze bringing a flush of warmth to her cheeks.  But that was exactly the problem.  Her interest wasn’t purely professional, and it was playing on her mind more and more when she finally crawled into her bed at night.

‘S’alright, doc.’  Daryl broke the silence, taking pity on her, and she sighed heavily as he went on.  ‘I know yer got better things t’ be doin’ than sittin’ here with me.  I ain’t the only person in this place ya gotta look out for, right?’

‘Right.’  She cleared her throat, reaching up to remove her hair from its clip, shaking her head to loosen the waves as they fell around her shoulders.  ‘Well, I’m officially off the clock now, so I’m all yours.’

‘Ya don’t got a home t’ go to?’

‘Are you trying to get rid of me?’ she teased, and he ducked his head, avoiding her gaze as he pulled on his fingers, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip, a sure sign, she knew now, that he was feeling uncomfortable.

‘Nah.  Never.’

‘Well, good.’  She slipped off her heels and crossed one leg over the other, fingers idly picking at a loose thread on her trousers.  ‘I’m only heading home for a microwave meal for one anyway.’

‘Sounds lonely.’

She shrugged.  ‘I like my own space.  It suits me.  But it means there’s nobody to notice if I’m a little late.’

‘’N’ what about them?’  He nodded towards the doors through to the waiting area, where they could hear the nurse on-duty moving about.  In the office Alexa had just vacated, another doctor was setting up, waiting to take the night shift, just in case any emergencies arose while the prison slept.  Her presence in the ward was surely being noted, but, despite that, she found that she couldn’t stay away.

‘What about them?  There’s nothing wrong with a doctor checking on her patient.  I mean, I saved your life, right?  It’s natural I’d want to keep you in one piece, if I can.’

‘Pretty sure I’m mendin’ just fine here, doc.’

‘Not all injuries are physical.’  His eyes locked with hers and, not for the first time, she found herself drowning in their crystal blue, barely noticing when he swallowed hard.

‘Wha’s that s’posed to mean?’  He had an edge to his voice that she hadn’t heard since his first visit to her office, and she knew she was touching on dangerous territory in her attempt to explain her attachment.  Still, she was desperate to hear first-hand from Daryl himself what had happened the day that he’d ended up with a shiv in his leg, and it wouldn’t be long before he was discharged and she’d lose her opportunity to press him on it.

‘Look, Bob- I mean, Officer Daniels – he told me what happened the day you got hurt.  He said it looked like you started the fight and then just… just let them attack you.’

‘What about it?’

‘Is it true?’

‘Ya remember when I told ya ya don’t wanna know?’  He waited for her nod of confirmation.  ‘Well, trust me, doc, ya don’t.’

‘Try me.’

Daryl huffed in frustration, shifting agitatedly, as if he wished he could get up and walk away from the conversation.  ‘Doc-‘

‘Lexi,’ she cut him off without thinking.

‘What?’

‘Lexi, please.  It’s out of hours, and I’m not your doctor right now.  I’m trying to be your friend.  So, call me Lexi.’

‘What happened to ‘ain’t nothin’ wrong with a doctor jus’ checkin’ on her patient’?’ he challenged her, and they fell into an uneasy silence as she rubbed a hand over her face, trying to regain control of the situation.

‘Look,’ she began, before shaking her head, faltering.  She didn’t know where to go from here.  She didn’t know how far she could push him without fracturing the bond they’d forged, somehow.  ‘Daryl, I’m worried about you, okay?  More than that, I’m scared for you.  You nearly got yourself killed and I was so close, too close, to losing you on that bed in there.  I need to know that’s not gonna happen again.’

The tips of his ears had reddened as she spoke, her voice hushed and urgent, words for only him to hear, and his eyes squeezed shut.  ‘Why’d ya even care?’

‘I can’t help it.  It’d be easier if I didn’t, if I could just patch you up and move on like I do with every other damn inmate in this place, but I just… I can’t with you.  I don’t know why and, honestly, I don’t really want to even think about it, but… that’s just the way it is.  So, would you just talk to me, please?’

His eyes had flickered open again and they bore into her, so that she had to fight against the urge to squirm in her seat.  ‘S’complicated.’

‘Whose life isn’t?’

‘Nah, I mean… It’s fucked up, alright?  I’m fucked up.  Ya’d do better t’ just stay away, doc, I swear.  I ain’t worth yer time or yer worry.’

‘Daryl-‘

‘Look, yer puttin’ yer job on the line jus’ bein’ here, right?’  She didn’t answer, but she knew she didn’t need to.  It was worthy of a warning at least, the amount of time she was spending focused on one patient, one man, even outside of work hours.  ‘Ya shouldn’ be doin’ that.  I ain’t who ya think I am.  Ya can’t save me.’

 

* * *

 

Alexa had left soon after, slipping into her heels and clicking away across the cracked linoleum without a backwards look.  Inside she was raging.  She couldn’t save him?  Was that what he really thought?  Maybe if he just talked to her like an equal, maybe if he just let her in…  There had been times when it had seemed like he might, but he’d always veered away from any revealing subjects at the last moment, keeping his walls firmly in place, and she’d told herself that it just wasn’t time yet.  They barely knew each other, she’d reminded herself, not really.  If she just gave him a little longer, he’d realise he could trust her.  He’d tell her what was going on.

But no.  Maybe she’d pushed too soon, but he’d shut her down firmly.  There’d been no venom in his tone, only utter resignation and hopelessness, and it had torn at her heart.  What had happened in his past that had left him feeling so worthless?  She could tell by the haunted look behind his eyes that something preyed on his mind, something bad.  Was it just the murder?  She still found it hard to believe that he was capable of such a thing, but maybe it was guilt that was eating him up inside.  Or was it something else, something that came before?  She knew she’d never conjure up the answers on her own.  He was the only person who could share his secrets, and it was obvious that he wasn’t going to be doing that, or at least not to her.  Perhaps the connection they shared only existed in her head.  Or perhaps he was playing her and she was falling for his act hook, line and sinker.

The question plagued her as she choked down a sandwich, too drained to bother with anything else for dinner.  Anonymous voices chattered away on the television as she tucked her feet beneath her on the couch and let her worries overtake her.  She’d lost control, she knew that.  She’d lost control of her feelings, the earlier conversation, and Daryl’s wellbeing, and that was a dangerous position for her to be in.  He’d been right when he’d said she could be jeopardising her job, but that concern paled in comparison to the concern she felt for his safety.  A month into his stay at Carrington and he’d already nearly bled to death in her makeshift emergency room.  What the hell would happen next?

Glancing at the clock, she sighed as she took in the late hour, knowing that she needed to sleep but also sure that her mind was far too busy to allow it.  So, instead, she ran a deep bath, filled to the brim with bubbles, and sunk into the water, focusing on her breathing, keeping it even and regular as she let the warmth spread through her.  It did nothing to ease the ache in her head but, as the temperature cooled, the bubbles dissipating into nothing as she lay there, oblivious to the hours that ticked by, she found herself resolving to let this go.  Daryl was right.  He was a patient and she was his doctor.  She’d treated his physical wounds and offered an ear for the turmoil that seemed to plague him.  If he’d turned it down, her duty was done.  She’d stay away, she told herself.  From now on, she’d go to work, do her job, and head straight home at the end of the day, without giving the inmate in the end bed a second thought.  For a blissful few minutes, she even believed it.

 

* * *

 

For three days, Alexa’s only communication with Daryl was to flick her eyes over his chart, check his vitals and adjust his meds, before leaving him to wallow alone.  She hated the small half-smile he’d shoot her when she finally raised her gaze from the scrawl on the clipboard at the end of his bed to meet his, and she hated even more that she couldn’t return it, forcing her expression to remain neutral as she asked, ‘Feeling okay?’

‘Yeah,’ he’d grunt, or ‘Nah, hurtin’ today,’ and that would be it.

‘Something happened there?’ Yvonne asked when the general lull slowed to a deathly silence one afternoon, the infirmary empty bar the two of them and Daryl on his own in the ward.  ‘Thought you were taking a special interest in that one.’

‘He doesn’t want my help,’ Alexa told her, her voice icy cold.  It was the only way to ensure that her resolve didn’t crumble.  ‘Trust me, I tried.’

‘Lexi, love, if it was easy, there wouldn’t be no lost people in the world,’ the nurse scolded her gently.  ‘You gotta give him time.  Keep chipping away at that mask he chooses to show the world.  I’d bet money that whatever you find underneath’ll be worth the trouble.’

‘He’s a criminal, Von.’

Yvonne fixed her with a stern stare.  ‘That don’t matter none if you don’t let it, sweetheart, and that’s a slippery slope if you start going round here with that attitude.  All these men are criminals, Lex.  Might as well let them suffer with their rashes and their stomach flu and their broken bones, right?’

‘I didn’t mean-‘

‘Hell, you might as well have let him bleed out on that bed in there if that’s what you think of him.’

Alexa sighed.  ‘You know that’s not what I meant.  I just… I’m struggling to keep a professional distance, I guess, and it’s freaking me out a little.  It’s been too easy to get close to him and I don’t know… I don’t know how to deal with that or where to go from here.  I offered to listen, I asked him what was going on, and he shut me down.  I’m his doctor, not his girlfriend , so I have to back off.  I have to be just his doctor, or I…’

‘Ooh, girl, you’ve got it bad, don’t you?’  Yvonne let out a low whistle.  ‘You like him.’

‘I- I’m intrigued by him, I think.’

‘Yeah?’  The older lady eyed Alexa knowingly.  ‘And does that intrigue come with a side of butterflies whenever you catch his eye?’

‘No,’ Alexa lied.

‘Oh, I’m not judging you, love.  Hell, if I were ten years younger and into a little white sugar, I’d probably be feeling just the same way.’

‘But that’s not right, is it?  I mean, yeah, he’s different, I get that.  But he’s still…’  She lowered her voice, glancing around as though afraid she might be overheard.  ‘He’s still a murderer, Von.’

‘Not everyone proven guilty actually is, Lexi.  You’d do well to remember that.’

 

* * *

 

On the fourth day, just as she was leaving, Alexa heard a call from the ward that halted her in her tracks.

‘Doc.’  It was quiet, not urgent, and she thought about slipping out and leaving her cover to deal with whatever Daryl wanted, but then the call came again, and finally she heard him rasp, ‘Lexi, c’mon.’

She debated with herself for another moment before she doubled back and stepped into the ward, steeling herself as she met Daryl’s eyes.  There was no half-smile for her today, just an air of sadness that hung heavy over the room, and she felt her resolve melt away as she moved closer.  ‘What is it?’

‘Will ya-  Would ya sit down?’  He tipped his head towards the stool that still stood, empty, at his bedside.  

Alexa took a deep breath.  This was a decision that she wasn’t sure she was ready to make, but then those piercing blue irises locked with hers and she knew that she didn’t really have a choice.  She rounded the bed, climbing onto the seat with a sigh, though she couldn’t help but mutter, ‘I thought you wanted me to stay away.’

‘Never said that,’ he argued.  ‘Said ya should.  Never wanted ya to.’

‘Well, that wasn’t very clear.’

‘M’sorry.’  He bowed his head and, for the first time, she realised he was holding a deck of cards, lining them up neatly in his fingers so that each corner was a right angle.  ‘What I said…  I din’t mean to push ya away or to- to throw yer help back in yer face.  My life, I jus’ ain’t used to anyone actually givin’ a damn, y’know?  ‘N’ now there’s someone who does ‘n’ ya could get yerself into a whole world o’ trouble over it.  Don’ wanna see ya lose anythin’ ‘cause o’ me.  I ain’t worth it.’

She took a minute to process that, noting the sincerity in his face when he finally glanced her way and finding that she believed him totally.  This man had never had anyone that he could really open up to, and suddenly that made much of his behaviour make perfect sense.  She still wasn’t sure where that left them though.  He was right, she was risking everything by getting too close, and the way her pulse began to pound as his gaze raked over her features, looking for a hint of a reaction, told her that she was already in way deeper than she should be.  So, she changed the subject, nodding towards the cards he held and letting a smile quirk her lips.  ‘You play?’

His puzzled expression slipped into a grin as he began to shuffle them, taking his time over it as she watched.  ‘Solitaire mostly.  Nurse found ‘em in a drawer ‘n’ took pity on me.’

‘You know blackjack?’

‘Sure.’

‘Alright.  Deal ‘em out then, Dixon.’

Her handbag dropped to the floor, and she reached up to let her hair down, those damn butterflies starting up in her stomach when the movement caught his eye and his teeth caught a hold of his bottom lip, as she ran her fingers through it to work out the tangles.  ‘Ya sure ya got time to play?’

‘I’m in no hurry.  Let’s just take it slow, okay?’

‘Alright then.’


	4. Chapter 4

The sky outside was just beginning to lighten with the promise of dawn when Alexa stole into the silent ward to check on her patient.  She’d been on the night shift for the past week, something she usually hated as it messed with her sleep pattern and sense of routine, though she’d found that her annoyance was lessened by Daryl’s continued presence in the infirmary.  It had remained uncharacteristically quiet which had allowed her to while away the endless hours of darkness at his side, playing cards and talking quietly - emotional healing she’d call it if anybody asked - though that night she’d made the decision to stay away.  It may well be the last night of rest he’d get in a semi-comfortable bed for the foreseeable future, and she wanted to allow him to make the most of it.  She’d peered around the door a couple of times during the course of her shift, pleased to see him slumbering soundly, his expression peaceful, breathing even, though a part of her almost wished he would wake.  She was missing his company, if she was honest, but that fact alone was enough to drive her back to her office, afraid of her growing connection with the man that continued to mystify her.  Now though, as she moved closer, checking over his chart for the last time, Daryl finally stirred, eyes flickering open, a lazy smile quirking his lips when he caught sight of her standing over him.

‘Hey, doc.’

'Hey.  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.’

He waved away her concerns as he eased himself further up the bed, propping himself up against the pillows.  'Thought ya’d stopped carin’.  Ya was holed up in that lonely office o’ yers all night.’

She felt her cheeks flush with colour at the observation and she slipped his chart back into the rack at the end of the bed, moving to sit on the stool at his side as he watched her.  'I’m sorry.  I wanted to give you a chance to get some rest before…  Well, before you have to go back.’

A heavy sigh left him.  'Right.  Today’s the day, huh?’

“Fraid so.’  There wasn’t much Alexa could say to make this better she knew, for either of them.  Later that morning, when the day shift had arrived, Daryl would be discharged back to Gen. Pop. and she knew he was dreading the move.  He’d healed well, his leg strong enough to support his weight now when he was coaxed from his bed to limp the length of the ward with the guard at his side, his collarbone no longer causing him pain, and there was no possible way to delay it any longer.

Still, Alexa worried for him.  His time in the ward had relaxed him, driving away the grim expression that tensed his features, and, though she’d never brought up his intention to hurt himself again, afraid of the reaction it might evoke after he’d pushed her away the first time, she’d felt that he was opening up to her more and more with every passing day.  But now their time was up and, in truth, she knew that she’d miss him as much as she’d worry for his safety, back out there with the monsters.

'It gonna be you that discharges me?’ he asked, picking idly at the blanket that covered him as she swallowed hard and shook her head.

‘I’m off in ten minutes.  I think Doctor Anderson is covering again.  It should be him that does it.’

'Right.’  Daryl’s face had fallen, but he hid it quickly, forcing that crooked smile back into place for her sake and making her heart clench painfully.  'Well, I guess I should thank ya.  For savin’ my life 'n’ gettin’ me all fixed up.  'N’ for the company.  Yer one o’ the good ones, Lex.’

'I get the same feeling about you.’

'Nah, I-’

There was movement outside, and then the door to the ward swung open, interrupting whatever Daryl had been about to say.  Doctor Anderson’s face appeared, his hand raising in greeting when he picked Alexa out in the shadowy room.  'Morning, Doctor Rushmore.  Just letting you know I’m here.  You can take off whenever.’

'Thank you.’

She was relieved when he left them, his footsteps receding as he headed into the office, though she knew it meant that it was time to say goodbye.  Daryl’s gaze didn’t leave her as she eased herself to her feet and steeled herself to go, the piercing blue scorching into her skin as she ducked her head, studiously studying the toes of her shoes.  ‘So, I guess I’ll see you around.’

'Guess so.’

'You get any pain at all, any trouble walking, you let a guard know, okay?’

‘Yeah.’  Daryl’s hand reached out for her as she went to step away, dwarfing her own as he caught hold of her fingers, their eyes meeting as she sucked in a shaky breath.  His touch was gentle despite the calluses on his fingertips, and more than anything, she wanted to stay there, holding on to him, refusing to leave his side until the last possible moment.  But she couldn’t.  It would just make everything harder.  'Seriously, doc.  Thanks for e'rythin’.  Findin’ someone like you in here, it jus’ makes it all a li'l easier.’

‘Then promise me you’ll look after yourself, okay?  Whatever it was you did that put you in here, don’t let it happen again.  Please, Daryl.’

He nodded, his grip tightening for just a moment before he released her, letting her hand drop to her side as she finally turned to leave.  She didn’t look back.  There was nothing left to say.

 

* * *

 

‘You know I’ve been hearing things about you, doc.’

Alexa had been sitting on a bench outside of the prison’s fences a couple of days later, picking at her lunch, when Bob Daniels had settled himself at her side, shooting her a sideways glance when she raised a brow in faux interest.  ‘Is that right?’

It was a little past noon, the sun intense as it hung high in the sky above them, and she could see sweat beading on Bob’s forehead as she stubbornly continued to eat.  'Yeah, about you and that Dixon fella.  You sure were spending a lot of time with him on that ward, huh?’

Alexa felt her hackles rise at the tone of accusation in his voice, but she fought to maintain a neutral expression, finally setting her lunch to the side and reaching for the coffee that she’d balanced by her knee.  'Well, he was my patient, Bob, and he nearly died.  Given what you told me about the circumstances, I figured it would be good to talk to him a little, see where his head might be at.’

‘You’re paid to fix their bodies, doc, not their minds.’  He was shaking his head as though disappointed in her somehow, only increasing her frustration.  ‘That’s what Psych’s for.’

'He’s not crazy!’  Alexa almost spat out her drink in disbelief.  The Psych ward at Carrington had a troubling reputation, and the staff that worked there were seemingly devoid of any sort of compassion for their patients.  She avoided the place as much as possible, unable to bear the shrieks and groans of the traumatised prisoners contained within.  'God, you send anyone even a little bit sane into that place, they’ll soon want to kill themselves if they didn’t already.’

'Not our problem.’  He fixed her with a stern glare.  

'Not our problem?  Really?  So, if he goes out there and does it again, picks a fight and lets some redneck thug beat the hell out of him, if you don’t get there on time and he bleeds out in the middle of the yard or they break his goddamn neck, you’re trying to tell me that wouldn’t weigh on your conscience?  I saw you when you brought him in, Bob.  You were just as shaken up by it as I was!’

‘Yeah, I worry for the boy, no mistake.  But the fact of the matter is, he’s new here, relatively speaking, and he’s spent half his time so far in medical ‘cause he just keeps on getting into scrapes.  I’m sorry for him, yeah, I am.  Hated seeing what Ford did to his sorry ass.  But I’m more worried for you.  I’ll be damned if you think I’m gonna sit back and watch you lose your career over some no-good inmate.’  Alexa was shaking her head, drawing a sigh from the old man as he reached over to lay a hand on her shoulder.  'I’ve been working here a long time, doc-’

'Yeah,’ she cut him off, rising to her feet and gathering her things.  'Too long.’

'He ain’t in there for no reason.  He’s a murderer!  Killed his own father, for God’s sake!’

A cold laugh fell from her lips as she turned her judgemental gaze on the jaded prison officer.  'And you believe that?  That it was really that simple?  You think a guy like him could do something like that?’

'He pleaded guilty!’

'I don’t care!’  She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she felt her control slipping away.  She had to leave now, before she said something she’d regret.  ‘You’re a great prison guard, Bob, you are.  But I’m a damn good doctor, so why don’t you just do your job and leave me to get on with mine?’

 

* * *

 

The ceiling of Daryl’s cell felt worryingly low after so long in the infirmary ward.  The concrete was stained in the corners by the damp that had soaked into the fabric of the building, criss-crossed with cracks, and he narrowed his eyes as he gazed up at it, trying to pick out patterns in the gloomy state of disrepair.  The thin mattress on his bunk felt harsh and unforgiving after the relative comfort of his hospital bed, and the bars across the doorway bothered him more than they had before, he thought, bringing wave after wave of fresh anxiety as the feeling of being trapped threatened to drag him under.  Exhaling heavily, he changed tactics, squeezing his eyes tight shut and picturing the doctor whose charge he’d mostly been under for the past couple of weeks.  

Dr. Rushmore.  Alexa.  Lexi.  He pictured the crinkles that appeared at the corners of her eyes when she smiled, the green irises sparkling as a tinkling laugh escaped her, her coppery waves sending a wave of delicate, floral scent wafting towards him as she tossed them back from her face.  He pictured the way her nose wrinkled when she was concentrating, reading over the notes on his chart or checking over his stitches, her fingers warm as they danced over his skin.  He pictured the dusting of freckles over the milky white of her cheeks and he wished that he’d had the confidence to reach out and brush his fingers over them, tell her how beautiful he thought they were.  He could hear her voice, calm and reassuring, kind - possibly kinder than anyone else had ever been to him in his whole life - and he found that focusing on that let his tension ebb away.

Daryl wasn’t a fool.  He knew that falling for a girl like Lexi would get him pretty much nowhere.  Even if he wasn’t a criminal, locked away from the world, a monster just like those that surrounded him day after day, she was so far out of his league that it made his stomach knot.  She was smart.  Had to be to be a doctor, right?  But it was more than that.  She carried herself with a natural confidence, as though she knew her purpose, felt comfortable in her own skin, and that was a feeling that he couldn’t relate to, no matter how hard he tried.  So, really, sitting around and dreaming about her was only gonna drive him crazy in the long run.  Or crazier, he supposed.  And yet…

It hadn’t been one-sided.  He was sure of it.  When he was alone on the ward, she’d spend endless hours at his side, coaxing him into conversation or just playing round after round of cards in silence.  It didn’t seem to matter what they did.  She seemed to enjoy his company, and he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed hers.  But there was more.  He’d seen it that first day that they’d met, when she’d been checking over his ribs and applying the butterfly stitches to the gash above his eye.  She’d had to invade his personal space, pressing her body almost flush with his as she reached up to smooth her fingers over his brow, and he’d seen the glow that coloured her cheeks at his closeness.  She’d told him outright that she cared about him.  What he didn’t understand was why.  He was a murderer, as far as she and everybody else in Carrington was concerned, so why the hell did she think that he was even worth a second thought?

His reverie was interrupted when his cellmate gave a loud grunt, tossing the book he’d been reading aside and rolling to his feet, stretching his arms up towards the ceiling and groaning again when his joints cracked.

‘Thought you were sleepin’,’ he drawled as his eyes fell on Daryl.

As far as cellmates went, Daryl hadn’t drawn the shortest straw, and for that he was grateful.  Rick seemed to have a fairly level head on him, for a murderer at least, because that’s what he was.  Daryl had found out fairly early on that his wife had been murdered, while she was pregnant no less, and Rick had seen red, tracking down her attackers and taking them out with cold, callous efficiency.  He vaguely remembered seeing it in the papers, but hadn’t paid it much attention at the time, though Rick had been more than willing to share his story.  He’d been a sheriff’s deputy before, though Daryl found that pretty hard to imagine, but the failure of his colleagues to successfully track down his family’s killers before he did meant that he now had a pretty low opinion of authority figures, and who could blame him?  He’d lost more than Daryl could even imagine having.  

‘Nah,’ Daryl said now, lifting his hand to his mouth to gnaw on his thumbnail as the walls began to close in once again.  ‘Spent most o’ the last couple o’ weeks in bed.  Damn sick o’ sittin’ around doin’ nothin’.’

‘Musta been pretty lonely in there,’ Rick observed, and Daryl quirked an eyebrow.  He hadn’t mentioned much about his time on the ward, except to give a brief rundown of his injuries, but it seemed like the emptiness of the infirmary was common knowledge.  ‘You can feel it, right?  Somethin’s brewin’.  Only a matter of time before things kick off.’

‘What d’ya mean?’  

‘C’mon, ya haven’t noticed?  Inmates are bandin’ together.  S’why nobody’s havin’ to get patched up.  No more fightin’.’

‘Why?’

‘Bidin’ their time,’ Rick told him with a smirk.  ‘Drawin’ up plans.  I’ve seen it in the yard.  They’re sharin’ out weapons ‘stead of hoarding ‘em.  Makin’ sure as many of us are armed as possible.  Reckon they’re plannin’ on startin’ a riot.’

A lump lodged itself in Daryl’s throat at the suggestion, and he tried to ignore the flash of Lexi’s face across his vision.  ‘Yer serious?’

‘Jus’ tellin’ ya what I’ve heard.  There’ve been whispers, rumours.  Tensions have been runnin’ high for a while now, but I reckon it’s close.  If ya don’t have a blade or somethin’ stashed away in here somewhere, I’d make sure ya get yourself one and fast.’

‘D’you got a blade stashed in here?’

Rick only shrugged.  ‘Jus’ offerin’ some friendly advice, that’s all.  Seen ya gettin’ on Ford’s bad side a couple o’ times now.  When shit goes down, I ain’t sure he’s not gonna be comin’ after you just as much as the guards, y’know?’

 

* * *

 

Daryl could feel it.  He stood alone in the yard, tucked into a corner, out of sight of those that he’d antagonised, and watched as groups that never would have mixed before whispered together, shooting threatening glances towards the guards that patrolled the perimeter.  Every so often, he’d catch sight of the glint of metal as blades and other weapons were exchanged, slipped from one sleeve to be hastily tucked beneath another, hidden from the watchful eyes of anybody with the power to stop the threat of violence that was simmering below the surface.  He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed it before.  He’d been new, he supposed, unschooled on the politics of inmate alliances, but now the tension hung so heavy in the air that he could almost taste it, and he knew it was just a matter of time before it exploded.  

His first thought, of course, was for the doctor.  Would she be in the firing line if the place went up?  He’d like to think not.  She seemed to treat everybody with the same kindness, although he could tell that she displayed more professional detachment with most others than she did with him, but he was sure that there couldn’t be any hidden resentments harboured towards her by the monsters that milled around him.  On the other hand, she was pretty, and the guys locked in there with him were touch-starved and desperate to get their rocks off in whatever way they could.  It was possible that, in the heat of the moment, she’d be reduced to whatever lay between her thighs, and that thought had a sickening rage snaking through his veins.  He swore then that he’d do whatever it took to protect her, to warn her of the danger, but of course, he could only do that if he could reach her.

A gruff cough from behind him had him spinning round to find that he was being watched from the other side of the fence by narrowed eyes, set beneath familiar bushy brows.  ‘Good to see you’re staying out of trouble, Dixon.’

Officer Daniels, the guard that had carried him into the infirmary as agonising pain racked his body, offered him a small nod when Daryl shrugged in response.  ‘Tryin’ to.’

‘Best keep it that way.’  The older man went to move off, but a flash of inspiration, or perhaps desperation, forced Daryl to call out to him while he was still within earshot.

‘Actually, sir, I was wonderin’, any chance o’ gettin’ an appointment with the doc today?  Leg’s hurtin’ like a bitch.  Could use a check-up, make sure I ain’t overdone it or nothin’.’

If it was possible, it seemed that the guard’s eyes narrowed even further, and Daryl felt the chill of the man’s suspicion creep down his spine.  ‘Suppose that’s Doctor Rushmore you’ll wanna see?’

‘Yes, sir,’ Daryl agreed.  ‘If it ain’t too much trouble.’

He seemed to mull it over for a moment, lips thinning beneath his moustache as he thought, before giving a sharp shake of his head and stealing Daryl’s hopes away in an instant.  ‘’Fraid she’s booked up today, inmate.  Doctor Anderson will be in tomorrow to cover her day off.  I’ll make sure you get one of his slots before they’re snapped up.’

It was a lie.  Hell, Daryl would have put money on it.  He’d spent more time in that infirmary in the past couple of weeks than anyone, and he knew Lexi hadn’t had a single full day of appointments in that time.  In fact, she’d seemed almost bored whenever she’d strolled into the ward and sunk down beside him, and he was sure the days were dragging for her without actual patients to treat.  ‘Ya sure?  I mean, it’s givin’ me real trouble here, man.  Would’ve thought it’d be a priority, with how I nearly died ‘n’ all.’

The sound that rumbled from Officer Daniels’ chest was part laughter, part animalistic snarl as his disdainful glare froze Daryl in place.  ‘Listen here, Dixon, and listen good.  You might’ve been able to manipulate the doc with that whole brooding redneck thing you’ve got going on, but she’s a hell of a lot younger than me, and greener to boot.  I saw the two of you, gettin’ close, too close.  It’s not professional and I wasn’t the only one who noticed.  Thing is, she’s a damn good doctor and she’s a damn good person too.  You’re not right in the head, boy.  I saw what you did to get yourself in that state in the first place, and we all know what put you in here.  So, I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you take her career from her and ruin her life, just because her heart’s too big to see you for what you really are.  You mark my words, I will do everything in my power to keep you away from that girl.  So, I suggest you go take a seat if your leg’s troubling you that much, inmate, and I’ll get Doctor Anderson to take a look at it first thing in the morning.  Have I made myself clear?’

Before Daryl could even begin to cobble together a response as his mind reeled, the disgruntled officer had spun on his heel and marched away, fingers clenched into fists at his sides.  God, Daryl wanted to hate him, his self-righteous nature and the way he looked at him like he was something disgusting and poisonous that he wanted to squash beneath his boot, but he couldn’t.  Because the old officer was just trying to protect Lexi, which was exactly what Daryl wanted to do.  Though, he now didn’t have a clue where to begin.


	5. Chapter 5

The cards Alexa held flexed beneath her fingers as she shuffled them, absentmindedly cutting the pack and sliding the two halves together again, mind elsewhere.  It was the end of another quiet week and she’d run out of admin to keep herself busy, instead finding that her brain wandered to Daryl and what he might be doing.  It had been over two weeks since he’d been discharged from her care, sent back out into Gen. Pop., his strength recovered, but she was still worried about the state of his mental health.  She wished they’d had more time to talk, that she’d pushed harder to find out the truth about him, whatever that may be, but it was too late for that now.  She supposed the fact that he hadn’t been brought back to the infirmary in a bloodied and beaten state meant that he was staying out of trouble, but still…

She missed him.

It wasn’t something that she’d admit to anybody, not even Yvonne, too afraid of what that one confession might mean for her career and the moral compass that she’d fought to keep pointing North throughout her dealings with the monsters that roamed the halls of Carrington.  Daryl was a murderer, on paper at least, and, though she truly didn’t believe him capable of such a thing, or at least thought there must be extenuating circumstances that might explain, if not excuse, his actions, it still went against the grain to grow so close to an inmate.  Bob’s warning to her, though she’d shut it down with a defensive haste, had struck a nerve, and she found that she spent many a sleepless night replaying her interactions with the prisoner, trying to pretend that a line hadn’t been crossed.  Of course, all that did was make her long for those evenings when she’d sit laughing at his side, and she’d end up even more confused than she had been when her head had hit the pillow.

‘Got a seat for an old lady in there, Lex?’

Alexa looked up at the sound of Yvonne’s voice and nodded eagerly, gesturing for the nurse to take a seat as she let the door swing shut behind her.  ‘How’s it going, ‘Vonnie?  Still a ghost town?’

‘You know it.  I swear, I must’ve taken inventory of our supply cupboards five times now, and that’s just today.  If it carries on like this, I’m gonna have to start saving the crossword from the paper to get me through the afternoon.’

Alexa smiled.  ‘You think the Governor could make the budget stretch to a Scrabble board?’

‘Like hell.  He won’t even shell out for new books for the library.  Ain’t nobody allowed to use their brain in this joint.’

Both women laughed as Yvonne kicked off her shoes and hooked one foot over her knee, massaging her sole with her thumbs.

‘What’s the library like in this place?  That bad?’ Alexa asked.  ‘I’ve never seen it, I don’t think.’

‘Oh, it’s better than nothing, I guess.  Just dated, that’s all.  I’d be surprised if there’s anything in there published in the last ten years or so.’

The doctor wrinkled her nose, though an idea was forming in her mind.  ‘You think they’d let us bring a few of the books down here to keep on the ward?  Might be nice for some of the guys that end up staying a while.’

‘No harm in asking.  Gotta be better than having them sitting there staring at the four walls and getting grouchy, right?’

‘Maybe I’ll drop by tomorrow.’  Alexa stretched, glancing at the clock and finding herself relieved when she saw that it was almost time to call it a day.  Stretching her arms above her head, she pushed herself out of her seat and began to gather her things but, when Yvonne spoke again, the warning in her tone dragged her attention back to the conversation.

‘Make sure you take a guard with you, mind.  There’s trouble brewing.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Alexa scoffed.  If anything, it seemed that the inmates had lost their desire for violence if the silence of the infirmary was anything to go by.  Surely, there couldn’t be a safer time to go wandering the halls.

‘Don’t you feel it?  Only time things get quiet like this is when the inmates stop plotting against each other and start plotting against us.  Ain’t nothing more unifying than a common enemy, Lexi, love.’

‘You’re joking?’  It seemed unlikely.  Of course, she knew that riots happened in prisons, attempted breakouts, protests against conditions that got out of hand, but she couldn’t imagine it happening at Carrington.  It seemed too ordered, the daily routine so structured it may as well be set in stone.  Plus, most of the guards were old-timers, employees that had been around for decades and would probably stick it out until retirement inside the bleak concrete walls.  Outsmarting them wouldn’t be easy.  There wasn’t much they hadn’t seen.  ‘You’ve seen this happen before?’

‘Not like this, but similar.  Gotta be fifteen years ago now, it went real quiet like this.  Turned out they were going after a guard; new kid; came in from another facility a couple of states over.  Apparently, one of the inmate’s brothers was locked up at his old place and he’d lost his temper one day, gotten out of control, damn near killed a prisoner for dropping his lunch tray.  News spread.  The men here weren’t happy, understandably.  So, they took matters into their own hands.’

‘Oh my God.’

‘Two  officers in hospital, one inmate dead.  It wasn’t pretty on either side.  You didn’t see it on the news?’

‘I would’ve still been at school,’ Alexa murmured, horrified.  Though she’d heard stories like Yvonne’s before, this suddenly seemed far too close to home.  ‘I probably wouldn’t have paid much attention to it, even if I had.’

‘Course, they made changes after it happened, tightened security and all.  And I’ve not heard so much as a whisper since, but… I’m just saying, this whole thing with the inmates playing happy families, it ain’t gonna be good for any of us.’

The next day, the riot started.

 

* * *

 

‘Hey, you got a minute?’  Alexa smiled as the young prison officer turned to her, giving a tight nod in response to her request.  ‘I was wondering if you might be able to escort me to the library while Doctor Anderson takes a look at Porter.  I wanted to ask about bringing some books back to the ward for the next time we’ve got some patients in and, if they say yes, I could use a hand.’

‘Erm.’  The guard hesitated, glancing towards the other doctor who was waving his first appointment of the day into his office.

‘Sure, go.  We’ll be fine in here.  Just a routine check-up.’

Eugene Porter was no real threat, Alexa knew.  That’s why she’d timed her trip out into the halls to coincide with his regular visit.  Unlike most of the monsters locked up behind Carrington’s fences, he wasn’t violent, having earned his stay through fraud or something that actually required some element of intelligence.  He’d suffered a breakdown when he’d received his sentence, and had spent a good deal of time in the Psych ward, which she was sure had done him more harm than good.  Now, he dropped by every Tuesday so that his anti-anxiety meds could be reviewed.

‘C’mon, we’ll be quick.’

‘Well, alright then.’  The guard span on his heel and made for the exit, though Alexa paused to stick her head into the ward, where Yvonne was remaking already perfectly clean beds.  ‘Von, we’re heading to the library.  You coming?’

‘Got my hands full here,’ she replied with a wink, the sarcasm dripping from each word.  ‘You go.  Be careful.’

‘I will,’ Alexa promised, before turning to follow the guard out of the infirmary.

The corridors were quiet, only the tip-tap of their shoes against the concrete floors breaking the silence, and, as they navigated their way through the maze, Alexa turned her attention to the guard, registering that he was the fairly new guy that she’d noticed a couple of months back now.  He’d lost the timid edge to his stance and grown a smattering of stubble over his cheeks, though his eyes were still wary as he moved.

‘I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced,’ she spoke up after a couple of inmates had passed them with tight smiles and bowed heads.  ‘You’re new here, right?’

‘Don’t feel like it no more,’ he admitted, before he slowed his pace slightly, obviously willing to engage in conversation.  ‘Just over two months ago, I started.  Seen some crazy shit since then.’

‘Well, that’s Carrington for you.’

‘Name’s Mike.’

‘Alexa.  Lexi.’

‘I know.’  His cheeks flushed pink as the words fell from his lips, almost too quickly, and he cleared his throat as though attempting to cover them with a cough.

Taking pity on him, Alexa pressed on.  ‘So, how’d you end up in this place?  You worked in prisons before?’

‘Nah.  Just been doing regular security jobs up ‘til now.  But my girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – she’s just found out she’s knocked up.  Says it’s mine, so I’ve been trying to pay my way, give her what she needs.  This gig pays better than standing outside a bar all night, y’know?’

‘Oh.  Wow.  Well, congratulations!’  Alexa wasn’t sure it was the right thing to say, but that didn’t matter much when the double doors to the library came into view.

‘This is it.’  Mike stepped ahead of her, pushing his way through the left-hand door, and she made to follow, stopping in her tracks when a dark shape came barrelling towards them, knocking the officer to the ground.

‘Mike!’  The shout escaped her before she could swallow it down, and narrowed eyes stared up at her as metal glinted in the harsh glare of the fluorescent lights.

‘Shit, man, it’s the doc.  What are you doing in here?’

Strong arms wrapped around her from behind, forcing her forwards until she tripped over Mike’s sprawled legs and fell to her knees, staring around in horror to find that she was surrounded by several thickset inmates with malicious smiles painted over their features.

And then a piercing alarm began to sound and her eyes picked out the beaten body of Bob Daniels propped against a bookshelf, and the walls closed in around her.

 

* * *

 

Daryl was in the canteen when it happened.  It had been quiet, just a low hum of murmured conversation taking place around him, and then there was a collective bellow from some of the leaders of the pack, and lunch trays went flying.  He could hear panicked gasps from the officers that patrolled the perimeter of the room, and saw their training kick in as the ones that hadn’t ended up with faces full of steaming hot food reached for their tasers, but the men around him were surging towards them, a stampede of bottled aggression shaken up and left to explode.  He heard a shot, then another, a shouted warning, and a louder yell, and then he saw him, standing above the others, broad shoulders squared as the table creaked beneath his weight.  Ford.  He raised his arm, and Daryl saw the pistol clasped between his thick fingers, pointed at the ceiling as another shot went off.

‘Ford!  Get your ass down from there!’ called a guard, one Daryl hadn’t had any dealings with previously, though he looked stern and unrattled by the sudden burst of violence.

‘You know what, Officer Friendly?’  Abraham taunted him.  ‘You can suck my nuts!’

Another shot.  Slow motion.  Ford’s finger flexing on the trigger.  The sound seemed to reverberate around the room, the angered shouts that surrounded him dying away as Daryl’s gaze flicked back to the officer, just in time to see him crumple to the ground.

‘Well, shit!’ Abraham crowed.  ‘Ain’t no going back now, boys!’

The thud of his boots hitting the ground as he rejoined the warring throng seemed to make the ground shake, but Daryl’s attention had shifted to the jumpsuits spilling out of the door and into the hallways.  They’d be fanning out now, he knew, looking for guards to take hostage, or worse.  Rick had been right.  This was planned, a coordinated effort, and he’d tried to ignore it.  When Officer Daniels had blocked his attempts to see Lexi, he’d told himself that it was just in his head, that it wouldn’t be as bad as his cellmate made out, but, as the shrill sound of the alarm filtered through the speakers throughout the prison, he knew that he was wrong.  And that meant just one thing:  He had to find her.

 

* * *

 

Alexa’s spine ground uncomfortably against the edges of the shelf behind her as she fidgeted against the tiled floor, sweat beading on her brow beneath the harsh stare of the inmate that stood over her, twirling his makeshift weapon – a razor blade melted in to the plastic handle of a toothbrush – between his fingers.  She recognised him, knew she’d treated him once before, but she couldn’t recall what for as her eyes picked out the letters stitched on to his jumpsuit.  Walsh.  He was whistling as he paced back and forth, turning with exaggerated flamboyance at the end of each length, seemingly totally relaxed despite the tension in the room.

‘Well, we’ve got ourselves quite the party going on in here now, don’t we?’  His eyes met Alexa’s and she steeled herself, determined not to grimace.  Beside her, she felt Bob stiffen but she kept her gaze trained forward.  ‘Whaddya say, doc?  You havin’ fun yet?’

‘Think she’s shy,’ called one of the others, stationed by the door, his voice laced with amusement.  ‘You need to loosen her up a little, Shane.’

‘Oh, I ain’t got no problem with that.’  He dropped into a crouch before her, invading her personal space with his bulk, lips curving in a lascivious grin as he breathed her in.  His touch was searing hot as his fingers brushed over the curve of her neck, tracing along the ridge of her collarbone before dipping beneath the smooth fabric of her blouse, thumbing open the top button.  Despite herself, Alexa felt a shiver of disgust run through her, and she knew by the way his eyes flashed that it had only spurred him on.  ‘Gonna let your hair down for us, sweetheart?  I’ll tell ya, it’s a long time since any one of us has had a woman. I mean, I can’t barely even remember what it feels like.  Gonna enjoy reminding myself a few times over with you.’

‘Get away from her.’  Bob’s rasped snarl was met with an outburst of laughter and Shane’s attention switched to the guard, giving Alexa a moment to recover her composure, though she couldn’t still the trembling of her hands.  ‘You lay a hand on her, inmate, and I swear I’ll-‘

‘What?’  Shane taunted him.  ‘What are you gonna do exactly?  See, you look like shit, officer.  I mean, you really took a beating and I don’t think you can stand to go another round or five.’

‘Try me.’  The older man pushed himself upright, staggering slightly, and Alexa could only watch on in horror as Shane stepped up to him, forcing him back against the shelves once more.

‘You oughta be careful what you wish for, old man.’

‘I won’t let you do this.’

‘Oh, no?’  The inmate’s head cocked to one side, expression softening just for a moment, so that, if she hadn’t known better, Alexa might almost have believed he was having second thoughts.  But then his hand whipped up from where it had hung by his side, his blade ripping through the skin of Bob’s throat.  The gurgle of blood turned Alexa’s stomach as the guard dropped to his knees, clutching at the wound that spilled a vivid red tide down the front of his uniform, and she went to reach for him, but it was too late.  He slumped forward, head colliding hard against the dusty tiles, and moments later, the room felt emptier somehow, colder, as his spirit slipped away.  She couldn’t tear her gaze away, heart pounding in her ears as the reality of just how deadly a situation she was in finally hit home, and at that same second, thick fingers wrapped around her arm, tugging her to her feet.  ‘Now, where were we?’

 

* * *

 

Daryl wanted to run.  His muscles ached with the sheer force of holding himself back, keeping his pace unhurried as he sought to blend in with the crowd, and he clenched his hands into fists at his sides as he strode along the hall.  Around him, it seemed the prison had gone mad, and the inmates were certainly coming out on top so far.  He’d passed two rooms now where the guards had been shepherded together, forced onto their knees beneath the watchful eyes of inmates armed with knives and shivs.  Their own weapons, he  knew, would have been confiscated, and he wondered how long it would be before back-up arrived.  They’d come, eventually.  But that didn’t mean there wasn’t time for a whole lot more damage to be done first.

Rounding the final corner, he broke into a jog, unable to restrain himself any more, but when he pushed his way through the double doors, it was to find that he was too late.  The waiting room was ransacked, bandages and pill packets spilling out of the store cupboards whose locks had been shot out.  The ward was in darkness, and so he picked his way carefully towards the office, where the hushed sound of voices was spilling out from beneath the door.

‘Oh, Vonnie, Vonnie, Vonnie.’  The Southern twang was distinctive, and Daryl realised it was Ford that he could hear, arrogant and cocksure, making his fists clench again.  ‘You know what really makes my ass itch?  You ladies in here, you smell so damn sweet.  And you smile and you make nice while you fix our collective boo-boos, but it’s all a damn act, ain’t it?  I mean, a lady like you ain’t ever gonna go for a man like me.  And the doc… Well, damn, I’d have been so lucky even before this charming little joint became home!  So, why the hell is it that Dixon’s got that broad wrapped around his little finger, huh?  She in on it too?  The drugs?  I know someone’s still bringing them in since they cut off my pipeline, and it makes sense.’

‘Go to hell.’  Daryl could tell from the waver in the nurse’s words that she was in pain, and he peered in through the window in the door to see her being bent backwards over the desk, her spine curving unnaturally, while Abraham’s fingers wrapped around her throat. ‘You’re an animal.’

‘Yes, ma’am, I may well be.’  Ford lifted his head, glancing across the room, and Daryl followed the direction of his gaze, to see Doctor Anderson standing against the wall with Porter hovering in front of him, a pocket knife shaking in the air between them.  ‘Eugene, I think the lady here needs a little encouragement.  What say you give the good doctor a little reminder of what happens when we tell lies, huh?’

‘I-I don’t feel prepared to carry out such a task,’ Daryl heard Eugene stammer.  ‘I would ask you kindly to remember that violence isn’t a forte of mine so much as organisation and the eidetic memory that brought this cunning plan together and ensured that it got off to a promising start.  That I can do and I did.  But this… This is beyond my capacity and my comfort I am afraid.’

‘Goddammit!’  Abraham’s reddening face foretold his outburst, and he pushed himself off of Yvonne, covering the room in two strides as he snapped, ‘Watch her!’

Figuring it was now or never, Daryl shoved his way inside, drawing the attention of both inmates as they spun to face him.  In full view, he could see now the gun tucked into the pocket of Ford’s jumpsuit, and he mentally cursed himself for not having taken his cellmate’s advice and gotten hold of a weapon of his own.  ‘Stop.’

‘Well, look who it is!’  Ford rounded on him and Daryl edged backwards, towards the door that had swung closed behind him, figuring out his next move.

‘Whaddya think yer doin’, Ford?’

‘I was tryin’ to pay your girlfriend a little visit, but it seems she ain’t here.’

‘Ain’t my girlfriend,’ Daryl bit out.  ‘And any issue ya got is with me.  Leave Lexi out of it.’

‘Oh, Lexi, is it?’  The smile that split Ford’s face let Daryl know that his slip of the tongue had been a mistake.  ‘Well, ain’t that just cute.’

‘Stay away from her.’

‘Or what?’  The larger man moved closer, using his size to intimidate, and Daryl found his mind flashing back to the feeling of those meaty fists pounding into him.  ‘You see, Dixon, I’ve got all the power here, and there ain’t a damn thing  you can do about it?’

‘Ya reckon?’  Unable to retreat any further, Daryl changed tactics, stepping forward to meet Abraham’s advance, squaring his shoulders as he prepared himself for a fight.

‘I do.’  Without warning, Ford drew the pistol, bringing it up to his side and letting loose a bullet.  Eugene’s wail of despair punctuated the gasp that left Yvonne as her face went slack, her body sliding from the desk to the floor.

‘No!’  Daryl pushed his way past the attacker, dropping to his knees and pressing the heels of his hands into the wound on the nurse’s chest, ducking his head to see if he could still feel her breath.  It was there but it was faint, and if he hadn’t been so close, he would have missed her whisper, her final words before her heart stopped beating.  ‘Library.  She’s in the library.  You got to get to her.’

‘What the hell did you do?’  Daryl’s eyes flashed with rage as he pushed himself upright, spinning on his heel to face Abraham.  Beside him, Eugene was hugging himself, rocking back and forth as tears spilled from his cheeks.  He may have been the mastermind behind this scheme, but he wasn’t cut out for getting down and dirty.  ‘Ya know yer gon’ get all our asses tossed into max when they shut this down?’

‘I’m sending a damn message.’

‘Yer an idiot.’

‘Maybe so, but it’s too late to go back now.’  Raising his gun again, Ford fixed Doctor Anderson with a determined glare.  ‘One down…’

His murderous mission was halted when the door swung open and Rick appeared, his eyes immediately seeking Daryl’s after taking in the devastation in the room.  ‘Thought I’d find you here.’

Though Daryl had tried to avoid letting his connection to Lexi come out, Rick had taken great pleasure in telling him he’d rasped her name in his sleep more than once, so he was the only person with any idea what she’d come to mean to him.  ‘She ain’t here, man.’

‘You know where she is?’

‘I think so.’

‘Then go.’

‘Now, hold on just one minute-‘ Ford interrupted the conversation, and Daryl knew that he was next on the man’s list, that he was intending to finish a fight that Daryl should never have started, but Rick cut him off.

‘I got this,’ he told Daryl.  ‘Just go.’

Daryl didn’t hesitate.  He tugged open the door and ran.


	6. Chapter 6

Alexa’s gaze was fixed on the stricken body of Bob Daniels.  He lay in a ever-spreading pool of sickening crimson blood, lifeless, and the pit in her stomach was deepening with each passing second.  On the other side of the room, Mike was still pinned to the ground, the knee of an inmate pressed into the base of his spine, and Lexi trembled with fear as she wondered what his fate might be if she didn’t submit, allow Shane to take whatever he wanted from her.  The thought was too terrifying to contemplate.

Time had seemed to slow after he’d so callously taken Bob’s life.  The clock on the wall sounded each second with a loud, mechanical tick, but the beats seemed unnaturally far apart, a minute taking a hour, five minutes an eternity.  Shane’s eyes were narrowed and cruel as his gaze ran from Alexa’s face down to her toes, pinched into heels that brought an unsettling smirk to his lips.

‘You know you brought this on yourself, right?  Comin’ in here lookin’ like you do, smellin’ like you do.  Anyone else walked into this library, they’d be following in the footsteps of ol’ Daniels here.  But you… Hell, it’d just be a damn waste to slit that pretty little throat, mark up that soft, white skin.’

He’d been standing over her as he spoke, lust-blown stare skimming over the curve of her neck, slipping down to the dip of her blouse where he’d left one button undone.  Now he stooped, hauling her to her feet with a rough hand around her arm, grip biting, though she refused to show that he was hurting her, gritting her teeth as she steadied herself.  'What do you want from me?’

He laughed.  A deep chuckle rumbling through him, and then he took a step forward, pinning her against the shelves with the weight of his body, his hips grinding against hers and answering her question without having to speak a word.  'C'mon, doc.  Don’t act all innocent with me.  I bet you’re a wildcat between the sheets, huh?  That fiery red hair.  You got some fire in you?’

The tip of his nose skimmed over her pulse point, his breath uncomfortably hot against her skin, and she tilted her head away, seeking what little distance she could achieve.  ‘Don’t.’

‘It’s gonna be easier for all of us if you don’t fight it.  You never know, let yourself go, you might even enjoy it.’

He was enjoying it already, she could tell.  His breathing was becoming ragged, the hand that wasn’t brandishing his weapon creeping forward to smooth over her hip, kneading her flesh, drifting dangerously close to places she didn’t want him to be, couldn’t stand for him to touch.  Glancing over his shoulder, she could see his comrades watching on with hungry eyes, waiting for him to make his next move.  Or, perhaps, waiting for their turn.  She was alone here, no back-up.  Only Mike who was pinned and outnumbered, unable to offer any way out.  She could do it the easy way.  Let Shane take control and have it all be over as quickly as possible.  It might mean less aggression, less force, and she’d come out of it in a far better state than if she were to put up a fight. But…  God, she was clenching her thighs together at just the thought of him covering her, using her, unleashing years of pent-up frustration on her until she was broken and crying, and she knew she couldn’t do it.  She had to try.

Cocking her head to one side, she sucked in a sharp breath.  ‘Bite me.’

The force of his knuckles colliding with her cheek made her head spin, the impact knocking her to the ground, and her hand instinctively came up to press tentatively against her throbbing face, grimacing when she felt the tacky wetness of blood on her fingers.  Her ears were ringing, the room around her blurring as tears welled in her eyes, but she had no time to wipe them away before she was being tugged up again, meaty fingers tangling in her hair and yanking her head back.

‘That was a mistake, doc,’ Shane snarled in her ear.  ‘I was gonna make it good for you. Show you I know my way around a woman.  Make sure you got yours.  But now…. Now, I’m gonna make it hurt.’

She wasn’t ready for the sharp jerk of his arm, her scalp burning at the sensation as he flung her forward, sending her careering over the tiles until her head collided with the edge of a reading table.  Sparks of light danced across her vision as she collapsed backwards, raising her arms over her head to defend herself from the next attack.

Shane’s boots appeared beside her, and she squeezed her eyes tight shut, waiting for the impact, biting her lip to hold in her scream, but the next sound was that of the library door creaking open, and she felt the atmosphere shift as he froze above her.

‘Get away from ‘er.’

That voice.  She knew that voice.  Her heart gave a small leap of relief at the knowledge that Daryl was there.  She didn’t know why or how.  Didn’t know whether he’d been looking for her or whether it was a beautiful coincidence, but she did know one thing: he wouldn’t let this happen.  He may be outnumbered, he may still not be back at full-strength, physically or mentally, but he wouldn’t let another person in that room hurt her.

‘Get out of here, Dixon.’

‘Nah.’  Alexa craned her neck so she could see him, framed by the double doors behind him, fists clenched at his sides.  ‘Can’t do that.  Ain’t gon’ let ya hurt the girl, man.’

Shane scoffed.  ‘You think you can stop me?  What?  You some sort of redneck knight riding to the rescue?’

Nah,’ Daryl said again, and Alexa could see his eyes darting around the room, assessing the situation, weighing up his next move, before they settled back on Shane as he advanced towards him.  ‘I just ain’t an asshole.’

She saw the tick in his jaw right before he tackled Shane, hitting him in the chest with the full brunt of his momentum and taking him down.  Around him, the others tensed, ready to throw themselves into the fray and pull the warring inmates apart, but Mike had been watching the proceedings from his spot on the floor and used the distraction to buck his hips, dislodging his captor and rolling to kick out at him before he could right himself.  Back on his feet, Alexa could see his hesitation in his stance, the way he twisted on the balls of his feet, unsure whether to turn and run or stay and fight.

‘Mike!’ she called, desperately.  ‘Please!’

Her heart caught in her throat as he turned his back on her, afraid that he would abandon them to be torn apart after all, but instead he stooped, yanking the knife from the fingers of the inmate still reeling from the kick to his temple.

‘Everybody stop!’

His shout was ignored, and Alexa climbed shakily to her feet, only to be knocked down again as Daryl slammed into her, his body trapping hers as he fell, a cold laugh erupting from Shane’s chest.  ‘Hey, if you’d wanted first dibs, man, you just had to say!  I don’t mind a warm-up act.’

‘Shut up!’  In seconds, Daryl was up and off of her, launching himself at the other man once again, and she grimaced at the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

The others were circling now, their attention split between the ongoing fight for Alexa’s virtue and the young prison guard who was still brandishing the blade, poised, waiting for the attack to start.  She had to do something, though she had no clue what and she shuffled backwards towards the shelves once again, seeking to get out of the way and protect herself.  Her fingers scrabbled against the wrinkled spines of aged books, feeling them shift beneath her touch, and, in a flash of inspiration, she pulled one free.  It was heavy in her hands, thick and sturdy, and she lifted it above her head and hurled it across the room.  Her aim was off, and it only glanced off of the shoulder of the prisoner closest to Mike, barely enough to cause him pain, but instinctively he turned towards her, giving the guard a fraction of a second in which to bring the handle of the knife down against the inmate’s skull.  Once, twice, and the man dropped, unconscious.  The others were closing in now, and Alexa reached behind her, grabbing for more ammunition as she began to hurl the books towards the threat.  She missed more often than not, came close to hitting Mike himself once or twice, but the disruption of the falling books divided their captors’ attention yet again, and Mike was taking them down, one by one, his training kicking in now that he was free to move.

It was as she swivelled round to reach further along the shelf, dragging more books towards her, that she was taken off-guard.  Icy cold fingers wrapped around her throat, forcing her backwards onto the ground as an inmate she didn’t recognise – new, she guessed - straddled her, holding her in place as he tightened his grasp.  ‘I’ve had just about enough of you, bitch.’

She writhed beneath him as she fought for breath, vision clouding as he brought his other hand up to aid the first, constricting her windpipe until she thought he might crush it entirely.  Her lungs burned, body screaming for oxygen as she fought against him.  The sounds of the fight around her faded away until all she could hear was her own pulse, pounding in her ears.

When the sound her name broke into her consciousness, she thought she might’ve imagined it, a lone voice in a world of penetrating black.  She’d given up struggling, her limbs too heavy, the pain lessening, and then the weight shifted from her hips, and the pressure around her throat was gone. Sucking in deep lungfuls of oxygen, her fingers went to her neck, smoothing over the bruised skin, aching even as her heartbeat began to return to normal.  And then Daryl’s arms were around her, holding her tight.  His knuckles were stained with blood, his shoulders hunched as though he was hurting, and her eyes tracked back across to where she’d last seen Shane, to find him slumped on the floor against the table, his eyes already darkening with bruises.

‘Is he-‘

‘Still breathin’.  We gotta go.’

‘Where?  Where can we-‘

‘No!  Stop!’  She was cut off by Mike’s harsh cry as the few inmates still standing made a hasty exit, the door hinges squealing in protest as they dragged it shut behind them.  Mike was right behind them tugging on the handles, groaning in frustration when they refused to shift.  ‘Dammit!  They’ve jammed the doors.  We’re stuck in here.’

‘Gone for back-up,’ Daryl guessed, with a deep sigh.  ‘Shit.  We gotta move.’

‘How?’

‘Back here.’  Mike was already striding past them towards a set of heavy metal shelves that stood against the far wall, bracing himself at one end as he nodded at Daryl to take the other.  ‘C’mon then, inmate.’

Daryl’s face darkened, but he did as instructed, climbing to his feet and giving Alexa a hand up, before taking up his position.  Together the two men shifted the unit a foot or two further left, revealing a door that Alexa hadn’t even known existed.

‘Used to lead back into the old storage units when they were still used, before they built the new block twenty or so years ago,’ Mike explained.  ‘They told me about it as part of my induction, in case… Well, in case of this, I guess.’

‘Well, let’s go.’  Alexa nodded towards the door, and Daryl caught his lip between his teeth, nodding slowly before taking hold of the handle and pushing it open.

The bottom of the wood scraped against the concrete, and he had to apply his shoulder to it to get it open enough for them to squeeze through.  When they were all standing in the musty corridor, he eased it shut again, though they knew the dislodged bookcase would give away their escape route straight away.  It wasn’t safe to stay where they were, and, without any consultation, they began to run.  Who knew how long it would be before those who had trapped them inside returned with others?  Or before Shane and the others they’d left sprawled over the floor woke up and came looking for revenge.

The gloom was disorientating, the dust thick in the air, stirred up by their footsteps as they navigated the maze of corridors blind.  Alexa’s entire body ached, her head even more so, and she longed to sink down in a heap and cry, but she knew she had to keep going.  At some point along the way, Daryl’s hand had found hers, their fingers lacing together, and she drew strength from his touch, allowing him to propel her along, to safety, or something like it.

As they ventured further, Alexa found that parts of the building were beginning to look familiar, and shortly after that, she could see the glow of electric lights in the distance.

‘We made it,’ Mike gasped, breathless, though his eyes sparkled, adrenaline pumping. ‘C’mon, we gotta help the others.’

‘Are you crazy?’  Daryl was shaking his head.  ‘Nah, man, there’s too many of ‘em.  We gotta find somewhere to lay low, stay outta their way ‘til they get some reinforcements up in here.’

‘And what?  Just leave the others out there?  God knows what they’re doing to them!’

‘And what are they gon’ do to her if they find her?’ Daryl snapped back, gesturing towards Alexa who was hovering between them, unsure and afraid.  ‘I ain’t takin’ her back out there.’

‘Well, she’s not going anywhere with you.’

‘Stop it,’ Alexa intervened.  ‘Mike, Daryl’s right.  If we go out there-‘

‘You’re siding with him?’  For a moment, Mike’s face was incredulous, but then a smirk quirked his lips.  ‘Of course you are.  It all makes sense now!’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Why he would help us.  Why he would fight on our side.  He’s an animal, doc, just like the rest of them.  But he sure will do anything to stay in your good  books, huh?’

‘Mike, don’t-‘

‘Nah, Bob told me about the two of  you.  Said I should keep you away from him.  He could see what was going on.’

Alexa reeled at the mention of the colleague who’d been killed so violently as he fought to defend her.  ‘It’s not like that.’

‘Whatever.’  Mike was already turning away.  ‘You can go hide if you want to, Dixon, but she’s coming with me.’

‘I’m not!’  It was partly fear that strengthened Alexa’s resolve as she stood firm at Daryl’s side.  She didn’t want to go back out into the middle of the riot and put herself back in a position when she was at the mercy of Shane Walsh and others like him.  But it was also the knowledge that there was nowhere she felt safer than at Daryl’s side.  It was a new realisation, and not one she entirely welcomed, but it was what it was, and she knew he’d protect her.  ‘I’m staying with him.’

‘Alexa-‘

‘No.’  Daryl was inching away, pulling her after him, as Mike’s jaw dropped in disbelief.  ‘You can come with us if you want, but I’m going with Daryl.  I’m sorry, Mike.’

She heard him huff as they turned away, and then they were running once again.


	7. Chapter 7

‘How did you even find me?’  Alexa’s breath was still coming in short, sharp gasps as she leant back against the wall, following Daryl’s shadowy figure as he paced back and forth in the cramped space.  Two steps, spin, two steps, huff.  His gaze was fixed on the ground, his body racked with tension, and she wished that he would be still, just for a moment.

After leaving Mike, she’d followed Daryl back the way they’d come, taking a left instead of a right, and threading their way into the part of the cellblock used for storage and utilities.  It had been silent, empty, and she’d supposed that wasn’t surprising really.  Inmates weren’t allowed back there without supervision, and there wasn’t likely to be anything there that would warrant them fanning out this way and thinning the numbers on the attack.  Still, Daryl walked like he was familiar with the halls, leading her deeper and deeper, their pace hurried, footsteps reverberating off the walls, and then, all of a sudden, he’d yanked open a heavy metal door and hustled her inside.

The boiler room was filthy.  The creaking metal tank dominated the space, pipes jutting out at angles and disappearing into the walls, and she felt niggles of claustrophobia fighting to penetrate her mind when Daryl pulled the door shut behind them with a resounding clang.  When she’d looked at him questioningly, he’d simply shrugged.

‘Got signed up for maintenance crew last week.  Work duty.  First thing they did was get me to service this thing.’

She hadn’t asked for any further explanation, still reeling from everything that had happened, visions of Bob’s lifeless body and Shane’s malicious grin flashing through her head.  Her stomach was in knots as she replayed what had gone down in the library, wondering if she could’ve done something different, anything to spare the old guard who’d died defending her, and it was then that it occurred to her.

‘I shouldn’t have been in the library.  How did you even know where to look?’

Finally Daryl ground to a halt, his eyes meeting hers for a second before he averted them to the floor once again.  The only light in the room filtered in through a tiny window set high up towards the ceiling, and it did little to penetrate the gloom.  ‘Went to the infirmary.  Ya weren’t there.’

‘Did you see anybody else?  Yvonne?’  He nodded, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip, and she moved towards him, icy fear gripping her heart.  ‘Daryl…’

‘M’sorry.’  He shrugged helplessly.  ‘Ford was already there.  I couldn’… He had a gun.  There was nothin’ I could do.  I tried-’

‘Shit.’  Alexa cut him off as the air rushed from her body like she’d been winded.  Stumbling backwards her spine again hit the solid concrete wall behind her and she slid down it, drawing her knees up to her chest.  ‘She’s… He…’

She couldn’t get the words out, but Daryl was nodding, sinking down in front of her so he could rest one hand on her knee, the weight of it grounding her, drawing her away from her grief.  ‘I’m sorry, Lex.  But ya gotta hold it together, ‘least for now.  Can ya do that?’

‘I-I can.’  Her voice was very small, broken, but she knew that he was right.  ‘What about Doctor Anderson?’

‘He was alive when I left.  The nurse, she told me where ya were ‘n’ I ran.  Rick… Grimes, y’know him?  He said he’d deal with it.  He was gonna try ‘n’ take Ford down.  But I-I don’t know…’  He tailed off, and Alexa realised that he was finding this every bit as hard as she was.  He’d seen death today and it was seared into his brain, but he was fighting through it to be strong for her.  That knowledge strengthened her resolve, to push all of the pain and the fear down, to do for him what he was doing for her.  

She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could, he inched closer, leaning forward to ghost his fingers over her forehead.  His touch made her flinch as pain jolted through her, and he pulled back with a hissed apology.  

‘I had a run in with a table,’ she explained.  ‘Walsh… He-he was going to-’

‘I know what he was gon’ do,’ Daryl shut her down.  ‘But he didn’t.’

‘Because of you.’

‘Right.’  Twisting, he settled himself beside her, back against the wall, arm pressed against hers in the tight space.  ‘Was just lucky, I guess.’

‘You saved me.’  It was true, but insisting on it only made him duck his head and avoid her watery eyes.

‘Ain’t over yet.’

It was a horrible reality to face.  Of course, she’d known the dangers of working in a prison, surrounded by the type of people that got locked away in a place like Carrington.  She’d heard the stories, even been warned by Yvonne who’d sensed that trouble was brewing.  But she’d never truly believed it would happen: not here, not to her.  And yet now there she was, practically caged, as wild animals sought blood right outside the door.  The thought made her shudder, and she took a deep breath, drawing a look of concern from the man at her side.  ‘I don’t understand how this could happen.’

‘Drugs,’ he bit out, with a certainty that she hadn’t expected.  ‘S’what Rick reckons ‘n’ I’ll bet he’s right.  My brother, he did time here before.  While back now.  There were a couple o’ guards sneaking ‘em in but Rick, he says it stopped.  Guards got scared or somethin’.  S’put a lot o’ noses out o’ joint.’

‘So we have a load of addicts in withdrawal and a load of suppliers who have suddenly lost their main source of income.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Shit.’

‘Yeah.’  As if sensing the panic that was mounting within her once again, Daryl reached for her hand, hesitant and unsure until she laced her fingers through his, squeezing them tightly.  ‘Yer gonna be okay.  We’ll wait it out.  Nobody’s gonna find us in here.’

‘It could be hours.  Who knows how long it’ll take for back-up to arrive, and it’s not like they can just march in, guns blazing.  They’ll be negotiations and-’

‘So, I guess we’ll be stuck here for a while.’  His thumb was stroking soothing circles over her knuckles and Alexa let out a shaky breath, wishing she could feel as calm as he sounded, though she knew it was just a front for her benefit.  ‘I’m not gonna let nobody else hurt ya, okay, doc?  I’ll die first.’

She desperately didn’t want it to come to that.

 

* * *

 

If anybody had told Alexa that she’d be able to drift off to sleep in the middle of a prison riot, she’d have scoffed and told them they must be crazy.  And yet, a couple of hours later, she did exactly that.  The fading light, the rhythmic sound of their breathing the only noise that cut through the silence, and the adrenaline that seeped from her system had left her feeling bone-weary, and eventually she’d given in to it.  Daryl’s hand remained clasped in hers and, as sleep stole over her, her head fell onto his shoulder, assaulting his senses with her sweet, floral fragrance as her curtain of coppery hair fell over her face.  

He would never admit it, but it had terrified him.  Watching Shane advancing on her as she cowered, her face bloodied, bruises blossoming on her throat, Daryl had been truly afraid.  He knew Shane by reputation: a lifer, a man who knew that he was never getting out and therefore had nothing to lose.  And he knew exactly what a man like that would want from a woman like her.  He’d seen red, his rage descending over him in a fiery wave, and he hadn’t thought twice before launching himself into the fray.  He’d been lucky really that the guard, Mike, had been a quick-thinker, else it would have been him against… What?  Six others?  Maybe eight?  He wasn’t a genius but even he knew those numbers weren’t in his favour.  But he hadn’t had a choice.  He couldn’t let anything happen to her, couldn’t bear it that he’d come so close to being too late.

As the evening drew on, the boiler room was shrouded in darkness and it was only by the shift of her body against his that Daryl knew the doctor was awake.  At first, she nuzzled against him, breathing him in, disorientated and clinging to the nearest source of warmth.  But then she pulled away and he heard a breathy gasp escape her, followed by a whispered apology.  ‘Oh, God, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to…’

She tailed off and he couldn’t help but smile.  If he could see her face more clearly, he imagined that she’d be blushing, pale skin tinged with pink, and it made a pretty image in his head.  ‘Don’t worry ‘bout it, doc.’

‘You okay?’

‘Mmhmm.  Still quiet.’

‘Good.’

‘How’s ya head?’  Her hand fell from his, and he felt her elbow nudge him as she raised her arm to prod tentatively at the wound.  

‘It’s scabbing over, I think.’

‘Nice.’

‘Stop it.’  She nudged him again, intentionally this time, and her fingers found their place in his once more.  He wouldn’t ever get tired of that.  ‘What time is it?’

‘Sun went down a while ago.  Nine?  Maybe ten?’

He could practically hear her thinking, so he wasn’t surprised when she twisted towards him.  ‘We could wait ‘til it gets late.  They’ve still gotta sleep, right?  We could try and find our way to one of the fire exits and-’

‘They’ll have people keepin’ watch.  Ain’t worth the risk.’  Her frustration was palpable, and he wished he could go along with her plan, but he knew it would only end in bloodshed.  ‘This ain’t a spontaneous thing, doc.  They’ve been plannin’ this for weeks, maybe longer.  Can’t assume they’re gonna be makin’ no mistakes.’

‘You knew?’

‘Heard rumours.’

‘And you didn’t warn me?’

‘I tried.  Daniels, he wouldn’ let me nowhere near ya.  Reckoned I was out to ruin yer life.’

Alexa sighed.  ‘Yeah, he said the same thing to me.  Warned me to keep my distance.  Dammit!’  She kicked at the empty space in front of her, cursing her dead friend for interfering, though she knew he had her best interests at heart.  ‘I could’ve stopped this.  I could’ve done something.’

Daryl remained silent.  As much as the guard had frustrated him, he couldn’t blame him for looking out for her.

‘He hated that we got so close.  He warned me to back off, but I just… I…’

‘What?’  That caught his attention.  ‘Ya what?’

‘I couldn’t.  I didn’t want to.  After you left, went back to Gen. Pop., I just couldn’t let go.  I kept waiting for you to come back but you didn’t, and I knew that was a good thing, that it meant you were staying out of trouble but I… I missed you, I guess.’

‘Missed ya too, doc.’

‘You did?’

‘Yeah.’  Daryl cleared his throat, a note of humour in his voice as he went on.  ‘Rick, he don’t know no good card games, so…’

‘Shut up!’  She shoved playfully at him, a quiet giggle falling from her lips, and he wished he could bottle that sound and keep it for when the nights felt unbearably long.  ‘I’m trying to be serious here, Daryl.  I-I don’t know what this is between us, but it’s something, isn’t it?  I felt it, right from that first day you came into my office, beaten black and blue.  I just… I just knew you were a good person.  And then I saw you there, bleeding out on my ward, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand it.  If you’d died…  And it’s stupid, I know that.  I barely even knew you.  I barely know you now, but I can’t help that I care about you.  You got under my skin and… I-I don’t know…’

Daryl swallowed hard.  He hadn’t been expecting the outburst, for her to put into words everything that he’d felt since he’d shuffled into her office that day and been forced to let his mask drop as he met her intensely warm gaze, and now he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it, what to say next.  He’d never imagined in a million years that she might feel the same, be drawn to him as he was to her, despite all the evidence laid out in front of him, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was all a cruel trick that the universe was playing on him.  ‘Why are ya tellin’ me this?’

‘Because you saved my life.  Because you came looking for me.  Because I know you’re not a killer, Daryl, no matter what the papers say.  And because we might still die in here, the both of us, and I want you to know that somebody cared about you.  Truly.’

Daryl had been waiting to hear those words a long time.   _I know you’re not a killer._   He’d waited to hear it from his lawyer, a judge and a jury, but they’d never come.  At least not till now.  And hearing them from her made them mean so much more.  Her hand, which had felt fragile and shaky in his, now felt strong, like the only thing capable of pulling him out of the dark hole that he’d found himself in, and he clung to her impossibly tighter.  ‘I didn’t kill nobody.’

‘So, why did you plead guilty?’

‘S’a long story.’

‘We’ve got time.’

He couldn’t, could he?  He couldn’t burden her with the life he’d been forced to lead, the paths he’d chosen, the million things he’d done wrong that he felt that he had to make up for.  But she was waiting, he could feel it, the tension that hung in the air, and her fingers squeezing his gently, coaxing him, pressing him to open up.  And he wanted her to know.  She’d taken a chance on him, trusted him to keep her safe, and he wanted her to know that he was the right choice, that he wasn’t the murderer he’d made himself out to be.

‘My ol’ man, he was a right nasty piece of work, ‘specially when he’d been drinkin’.’

‘He… He drank a lot?’

‘Any day ending in ‘y’,’ Daryl drawled with a roll of his eyes.  ‘Used to beat us black ‘n’ blue, me and Merle.  Then just me, once Merle left.  He’s older.  Ran away soon as he could, spent most of his time in juvie from what I can work out.  Then he joined up.  Did more prison time.  So, mostly it was just me ‘n’ pop.’

‘What about your mom?’

‘She died when I was a kid.

‘Sounds like you had it tough.’

‘Ain’t worth cryin’ ‘bout or nothin’.  Was what it was.’  Daryl didn’t want pity, hated it, but Alexa’s tone wasn’t pitying.  It was matter of fact, as though she knew he needed her to just let him speak.  ‘Anyway, the night it happened, Dad came round in a real state.  Worst I’d seen him in a long time.  He was ragin’ ‘bout somethin’, thought I’d stolen his money or he’d lost his money…  Whatever it was, I’d had nothin’ t’ do with it.  Not that it mattered.’

‘He hit you?’

‘He hit me, kicked me when I was down, tried to knock me out with his whiskey bottle at one point.  I could’a fought back.  I should’a.  But… he was my old man, y’know?  ‘N’ he was gettin’ on.  Din’t feel right.’

‘So, what happened?’

‘Not sure when it was that I realised he wasn’t gonna stop.  He was gonna kill me if I didn’t do somethin’ ‘cause I was bleedin’ ‘n’ he was still goin’, rantin’ on.  I-I thought I’d find a way out of it. I was tryin’ to get out o’ the house, thought he might calm down if he knew the neighbours were watchin’, or one of ‘em would call the cops.  Night in a cell usually sorted him out.  Then Merle came home.’

Even through the darkness, he could see Alexa putting two and two together, working through what would happen next, and when the gasp of shock escaped her, he knew she’d figured it out.  ‘It wasn’t you.  It was Merle.  He killed your father.’

‘Didn’t mean to.  He was high as a damn kite ‘n’ he jus’ reacted, y’know.  Pulled out his huntin’ knife ‘n’ came at him.  Reckon he only meant t’ scare him off, but Dad… He just kept comin’.  There was nothin’ I could do.’  Despite himself, Daryl felt tears pool in his eyes, and he scrubbed them away roughly with the back of his hand.

‘God, Daryl, I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be.  Ol’ man had it comin’.  I wanted him dead for as long as I can remember.  Jus’ didn’t think he’d go out like that.  Thing is, Merle… He was in shock ‘n’ with the meth in his system… If the cops found him like that ‘n’ with his record… He wouldn’a been walkin’ out o’ here.  He’d’ve gone to the chair for sure.  ‘N’ he did it for me, y’know?  ‘Cause I wouldn’ fight back.  He did it to save me.’

Daryl’s voice broke, and he dropped his head into his arms, holding back the tidal wave of emotion that had been threatening to overwhelm him for too long, the whispers in his head that he pushed down at night when they tortured his busy brain.  And Alexa was shifting closer to him, even though they were already pressed against each other, ducking beneath his arm so he could bury his face in the crook of her neck.  

‘That’s why you do it,’ she murmured, still putting the pieces together as he fought to regain control.  ‘That’s why you antagonise Ford and his cronies, let them hurt you.  You’re… You’re punishing yourself.’

‘Ain’ nothin’ worse than I deserve.’

‘God, no, Daryl.’  She held him tighter, arms locked around his waist.  ‘No, that’s not true.  What you’ve done for your brother… God, you gave up your freedom, your whole life-’

‘’Cause it was my fault.’

‘No.  You didn’t make him pull out his knife.’

‘He did it to save me.’

‘He made a choice.  Daryl-’  Alexa’s plea was cut short when the thud of footsteps reached their ears, far away but drawing nearer, echoing along the corridor outside the door.  She stiffened, Daryl’s muscles tensing beneath her touch, and she barely dared to breathe as the soft whisper of voices drifted in.  She couldn’t make out what they were saying, couldn’t determine who it was that was rapidly approaching their hiding place, and the fear that gripped her was so debilitating that she thought she might break down completely if it wasn’t for his arms wrapped around her, holding her close.  She knew he was poised, ready to shove her aside should the moment call for it, to throw himself forward to protect her, but for now he waited.

The sounds grew louder, and Alexa craned her neck until she could bury her face in Daryl’s shoulder, in case the urge to scream should overwhelm her.  In her mind it was Shane advancing, searching her out, hunting her down by her scent like a bloodhound, and the thought sent a shiver down her spine.  Before long her entire body was trembling, and it continued to do so, even as the voices passed by, the footsteps receding as the inmates moved on.

‘W-Were they looking for us?’  Her voice was a whisper, but it sounded too loud in the tiny space, and she found herself straining her ears to listen for any sign that they were coming back.  

‘Don’ know.  Weren’t lookin’ too hard.  Prob’ly just checkin’ the whole buildin’s locked down.’

‘Are you sure?’

Of course he couldn’t be, but he nodded all the same.  ‘Yeah.  We’re fine, alright?  We’re gonna be fine.’

Despite his words of reassurance, she was still clinging to him, too afraid to relinquish her grip, frozen in place, and he was making no move to release her either, drawing comfort from the contact, from having her so close to him.

‘Daryl.’  His name fell from her lips in a desperate whimper, and she tilted her head up so that he could taste her breath when she exhaled.  It wasn’t a question.  It wasn’t a plea.  It was as though she was simply reminding herself that he was there, holding her, protecting her.  She was half in his lap now, barely a millimetre of space between them, and when he shifted so that she could huddle against his chest, his fingers found the bare skin of her waist where her shirt had gotten rucked up against the cheap fibre of his jumpsuit.  He barely dared to touch her, his fingers hovering over the exposed strip of delicate white flesh, but even that sent a tremble through her that he hoped had nothing to do with her fear.  

‘Doc.’

‘Daryl, please.’

The atmosphere had shifted between them, and he could feel an urgency now in the way she fisted his collar in her hands, her nose brushing his as she leaned in closer.  He didn’t do this.  Never had.  His experience with women was limited, restricted to drunken fumbles with nameless girls that he hadn’t spared another thought when morning came, but suddenly he wanted her, more than he’d ever wanted another living human.

He tilted his head, seeking her lips, and when he found them he let himself melt in to her, electricity crackling between them as she wound her arms around his neck.  Kissing her was like nothing else he’d ever experienced.  She gave herself over to him completely, letting him take control, matching his force and chasing his mouth when he pulled back to draw breath.  A fire had flickered into life deep in his stomach, and he decided then and there that he would let it consume him, let her take everything he had, because never in his life would he find anything else as sweet as this.

Alexa whimpered when Daryl shifted beneath her, but then she was fidgeting so she could fit a thigh either side of his and straddle him, feeling the deep groan that rumbled through him as she settled herself back in his lap.  Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his jumpsuit, nervous but driven on with a inexplicable need, an excited anticipation.  As she pushed the fabric off of his shoulders, revealing the tank top beneath, her hands fell to his arms, kneading the muscles that tensed beneath her touch, strong and defined.

When his fingers slipped beneath her blouse, trailing down her spine, she arched against him, and that was their final undoing.  Everything became more hurried, more desperate, and she was barely aware of him pushing himself to his feet, lifting him with her so he could turn and pin her against the wall, ripping the rest of the buttons from his standard prison uniform so she could push it down his legs, and her skirt was hitched up around her hips, and he was sinking into her, melding their bodies into one as her nails bit into his shoulders.

She was running on pure sensation, every cell of her being vibrating with need as he began to move, and it was all she could do to hold on tight and let him drive the both of them towards their ends, every jerk of his body against hers sending shockwaves sparking through her, until the world around her wasn’t dark anymore, but lit by brilliant flashes of light.  She was drowning in him, the smokey scent that lingered on his skin, and the soft growls that punctuated every thrust, and his piercing blue gaze locked on hers as though he was expecting her to fade away at any moment and leave him alone.

As he continued to wreak havoc on her, to undo her completely until she wasn’t even sure who she was anymore, let alone where she was, the riot faded into insignificance.  Carrington didn’t exist.  She wasn’t a doctor.  He wasn’t a inmate.  She was a woman and he was her man, and she was made for this, to be held by him and used by him.  The pulse point in his throat was there for her to scrape her teeth over, pulling a groan from somewhere deep within him, and the jut of her hips was designed to fit the large spread of his hands.  As she tumbled over the precipice, it was all she could do not to cry out, and he followed soon after, two sweat-slicked bodies clinging to each other in the dark corner of the boiler room and wondering why on earth it had never been like this before.

When Daryl finally stepped away, allowing Alexa’s feet to hit the floor, her knees buckled, but he was there to catch her, lowering her slowly back to the ground so she could curl herself against him as their highs ebbed away.

‘Lex-’

‘Don’t.’  She silenced the worries that had made their presence known again as soon as her body had parted from his, pressing soft butterfly kisses over his throat and prompting him to pull her closer.  ‘Don’t ruin it.  It was perfect, Daryl.’

‘But-’

‘We’ll deal with it after, okay?  Right now, none of it matters.’

 

* * *

 

The hours began to merge together.  They had no way but the sun to mark the passage of time and, at the back of the prison where the boiler room was tucked away, they had no clue whether or not back-up had arrived.  Their situation was becoming worse with every passing hour, no water to quench their thirst, no food either, and Daryl knew that he had to get her out of there before things took a turn for the dire.  She’d slept again, after, and he’d spent the time trying to figure out a way to escape, to make it to an exit and ensure her safety, but there was just no way.  He had no way of knowing where the other inmates were, who was on side and who shared the morals of Shane or Ford and were on a rampage to kill and rape and cause as much damage to their jailers as they could in the time they had left.  Every scenario he came up with ended the same way, with him dead and her left vulnerable and alone, and he couldn’t do that.  He wouldn’t.  Still, as the sun began to fade for a second time, he knew things were getting desperate.

The matter was taken out of his hands when, once again, they heard footfall in the corridor, heavy boots striding purposefully along, and more voices, louder this time and laced with annoyance.

‘What the fuck are we doing, man?  Why are we wasting our time back here?  Place has been locked down for years.’

‘Ford wants Dixon, you know that.’

‘Why?  We’re missing all the damn fun!  If he’s got a score to settle, he should get his ass down here and find him himself!’

‘Let’s just get it done.’

There was a loud creak of hinges, and Daryl cursed as he realised they were checking the rooms, starting at the opposite corner, maybe fifty yards away, and working their way back towards where they hid.  

‘Daryl?’  He could hear the fear in Alexa’s voice, and he hated it.  ‘Daryl, what do we do?’

He grit his teeth, knowing that his options were reducing with each second that passed.  There was only one way that he could see her having a chance of making it out alive, but it was a slim one, he knew that.  With each door he heard creak open, his hope diminished, and soon he had no choice but to hiss at her, ‘When I say run, you run, ya hear me?  Ya head for the nearest exit ‘n’ ya don’t stop till ya get out.’

‘What about you?’  Her eyes were wide, looking to him for answers.  

‘I’ll be right behind ya.  Now, get back.’  She pressed herself into the corner, against the same wall he’d had her pinned against just hours ago, and he pushed the thought down, turning back towards the door, bracing himself against it, his fist clenched tight around the handle.  He could hear the men outside moving closer, pausing, felt the slight twist of the handle as they made to pull it open, but he was faster, throwing it back with every ounce of strength that he had.  He felt it connect with whoever had been immediately behind it, heard the shout of pain, but his focus was back on Lexi.  ‘Go!  Run!’

She shoved past him, breaking into a run as soon as she was out of the door, and he made to follow her, swinging wildly when he found himself held back by a hand that gripped his arm.  His fist found its mark and he was free, barrelling along the corridor behind her, closing the distance between them as she flung herself around the corner, then another and another.  She was aiming for the exit in the next hallway over from the infirmary, he realised, and he matched his pace to hers, propelling her onwards as the sounds of those giving chase gave her cause to pause and glance over her shoulder.  

‘Keep goin’!’

His harsh shout spurred her on and she forced her legs to keep moving, despite the way her muscles burned and her lungs ached as she fought to draw breath.  Daryl’s hand found hers, tugging her along, and she gripped it tightly, afraid of what might happen if she let go, even for a second.  He was her saviour, he’d proven it again and again, and despite her need to escape, her hope that she’d make it out, that they both would, a tiny voice in the back of her mind told her everything would change as soon as they burst through that door.

It was in sight now, the green glow above it giving them a target as they skidded along the final hall, the breathless grunts of their pursuers so close that her heart almost stopped, but then she was falling into it, her weight pressing the bar to the wood and she tumbled out into the fresh air, Daryl at her back, her knees hitting the path as her legs gave way.  His hands were on her, firm but gentle, helping her back to her feet, and she could hardly believe it.  They were out.

‘On the ground!  Now!’

For a second, Alexa wasn’t sure where the shout came from.  The voice was unfamiliar, the notion that anyone existed apart from her and Daryl and the monsters that wanted to hurt them weirdly foreign after their time in the dark.  But Daryl was dropping slowly to his knees beside her, lowering himself until he was laying face-down on the ground, his arms above his head, and all she could do was watch in horror as uniformed men surged around them, guns held at the ready.

‘No, stop… He helped me!’  

Her pleading fell on deaf ears as cuffs were snapped into place around his wrists and his eyes met hers as she was pulled forcefully away.

‘What’s your name?’

‘Alexa.  Alexa Rushmore.  I’m the doctor here.’

‘Alright, it’s okay, Alexa.  You’re out.  We’ll take care of you now.’

Her feet were moving, but her gaze was still trained on the man who was lying on the floor, restrained, surrounded by weapons.  ‘But, no… Daryl… He helped me.  Please.  Please, don’t hurt him!’

Still, they didn’t listen.


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it! The end of one of my favourite things that I think I’ve ever written! This AU has seriously been so much fun to create, and I am still totally in love with prisoner Daryl, so thank you so so much for all of the support and feedback. I really hope you enjoy the epilogue and thank you for joining me on this journey…

Daryl’s skull hit the brick wall behind him with a dull thud.  The fluorescent light above him emitted a dull hum, the sound aggravating and monotonous and he let his eyes flicker closed as he fought to tune it out.  It was a Spartan room: a narrow bunk, a sink and a toilet, just a small grill in the door to allow the guards that patrolled the long hallway to check in on him, and a hatch that slid back twice a day so a plate of limp, overcooked food could be shoved inside. 

In truth, he didn’t mind the isolation.  Solitary confinement might have been unbearable to some, but Daryl was a solitary kind of person, and the quiet would have been peaceful had it not been for that damn electric buzz.  But what really bothered him was being cut off from news of the riot and what had gone down after Alexa had been led away, leaving him cuffed on the ground as he stared down the barrel of a masked man’s gun.  He’d gotten her out, and that at least was enough to calm the worst of the fears that set in when the lights went out, but he had no clue what had happened after that.  She’d been hurt, a large gash in her head where it had glanced off the edge of the table in the library and bruising on her jaw where Shane had beaten her, and of course the loss of the old guard and Yvonne.  And then there had been everything that had happened between them in those hours spent shut away, just the two of them… The truths confessed and the lines crossed.  He wanted to talk to her about it.  No, he didn’t.  He just wanted to look into her eyes and see that she still thought of him the way she had before, that she had no regrets.  He just wanted to know that she was okay.

He’d been hustled into a van when he’d finally been allowed up off the ground, a uniformed shadow lurking behind him, propelling him forwards until he’d clambered inside, and then the doors slammed shut.  He’d been glancing around, trying to catch a final glimpse of her, but he supposed she’d been shepherded into one of the waiting ambulances to have her wounds taken care of.  He’d lost track of how long he sat in there, waiting, straining his ears to make out the muffled shouts that came from somewhere in the prison grounds.  Later there’d been gunfire and later still he’d been retrieved from his makeshift cell and herded back inside.  He hadn’t bothered to try and argue with them when they’d led him straight to Solitary.  What was the point?  He’d heard Alexa trying to explain to them that he’d been helping her as she’d been pulled away, and if they hadn’t listened to her, they sure as hell weren’t going to listen to him.  So, he’d accepted his fate with only a slight grunt of discontent when he realised just how much time he’d have to sit and relive his past mistakes, and as the days ticked past, he instead tried to lose himself in the memory of her: what it had felt like to hold her, to have her wrapped around him so tightly that he hadn’t known where he ended and she began.  It was saving his sanity for now.

 

* * *

 

Alexa’s hands shook as she stood outside the heavy door that led into Solitary.  She wasn’t sure what she was so afraid of, except that she was breaking several major rules just by being there, not to mention putting her job on the line.  Still, as Mike waved his pass over the keypad to the side of the door, she offered him a nervous smile.

‘I really appreciate you doing this for me.  I know how big a risk it is.’

He hated it.  She could tell by the square set to his shoulders and the tight line that his lips had drawn into.  But he didn’t say anything of the kind, instead waving her through with a disinterested shrug.  ‘One time deal, doc, because he saved my ass.  He’s at the far end, on the left.  You’ve got ten minutes.’

‘Thank you.’

As the door shut behind her with a solid metal clank, she sucked in a breath, wrinkling her nose when it was assaulted with the musky scent of damp and sweat.  There were twelve cells in all, and she imagined that she could feel the eyes of the inmates on her as she forced herself to walk forward, her footsteps seeming impossibly loud against the concrete floor.  For all she knew, Shane was behind one of those little metal grills, watching her, his breath hot and heavy, and the thought made her skin crawl.  She’d been haunted by nightmares over the past couple of weeks, the feel of his hands on her, what might have happened if Daryl hadn’t come to her rescue when he did.  She’d wake up trembling, soaked through with sweat, and she’d wish he was there to wrap her up in his arms until the terror ebbed away.  But he hadn’t been and memories of their short time shut away in the dark together were all she had to bring her any sense of comfort.

Now, with him so close that she almost felt like she could sense his presence, Alexa was torn.  A part of her wanted to break into a run, to reach him as soon as possible so as not to waste a second of their limited time together.  Another part though was dragging her feet, weighing down her limbs as though they were made of lead, as she feared seeing the look of betrayal in his eyes.  He’d watched her walk away from him as he was forced to the ground, facedown in the dirt like a criminal, and in her darkest moments she’d found it hard to breathe as she wondered whether there was any way that they might be able to come back from that.

Finally she’d reached the furthest cells, and she came to a halt at the one on the left, taking a cautious step forward so that the tip of her nose brushed against the grill.  The space behind was small, dominated by a single bunk.  The light was harsh and unforgiving, but she was grateful for that as her eyes combed over the hunched figure on the bed, one knee drawn up to his chest, the other hanging over the edge, foot resting on the floor.  His hair was falling into his face, and he was pulling on his fingers, but otherwise he didn’t move.  He looked broken and lonely, and she knew it was an image that would stay with her forever.

‘Daryl?’

At the sound of her voice, he looked up, glancing in the direction of the door, and then he was up and off the bed, stalking towards her.  As he drew closer, his piercing blue gaze found hers, and she felt herself relax as a small smile quirked his lips.  ‘Doc?  That you?’

‘Yeah.’  She felt the door shudder as he propped his hands against the smooth metal and she wished more than anything that there wasn’t a barrier between them.  ‘Mike let me in but I haven’t got long.  I wanted- I needed to see you.’

‘How are ya?  Ya doin’ okay?’

‘I’m okay,’ she assured him.  ‘I’m fine.  But what about you?  God, Daryl, I’m so sorry.  You shouldn’t be in here!  I tried to tell them but-‘

‘I know.  I heard ya as they were takin’ you away.  This ain’t your fault.’

‘But-‘

‘I don’t blame ya, doc, alright?  ‘N’ I’m okay, I swear.  I actually don’t mind it in here.’

She sighed heavily as though that might expel some of her sadness and her guilt.  ‘You shouldn’t be in here at all.  I can’t stop thinking about what you told me back there.  It’s not fair, Daryl.  You’re a good person.’

‘If I wasn’t ya might not’ve made it outta there, Lex,’ he reminded her.

‘I know.’  She leant her forehead against the grill, feeling the bite of the metal against her skin.  ‘I still don’t really understand why I’m alive.  I mean, any one of those guys could’ve come after me when you were taking down Shane.  Why didn’t they?’

‘’Cause ya were chuckin’ books around like some kinda psycho librarian on acid?’ Daryl joked, pulling a reluctant grin from her as she shook her head.  ‘Look, Shane’s not the kinda guy anyone in here wants t’ cross.  If he’d put the word out that he wanted to get a taste o’ you, it wouldn’a been worth any one of their lives to get in the way of that.  Not ‘til they started dyin’ anyway.’

Alexa nodded slowly.  ‘Every time I close my eyes I can see him, y’know?  Right up in my face, Bob’s blood on his hands.’

‘Don’t.’  God, Daryl wanted to hold her.  ‘Don’t think about it, Lex, okay?  Ya can’t let him win.  Yer still here.  Yer alive.’

‘But so many people aren’t,’ she argued.  The body count had been high.  Five members of staff and eight inmates dead.  Investigations were ongoing and the atmosphere at Carrington was heavy with resentment, loss and distrust.  ‘I almost feel… guilty for still being here.’

‘Well, I don’t feel guilty ‘bout gettin’ ya out o’ there.  Best thing I’ve ever done.  Yer important, doc.’

He’d mirrored her movements, leaning his forehead against the tiny opening the door, and as his breath ghosted over her face, tears sprang into Alexa’s eyes.  ‘I meant what I said, you know?  In that boiler room?  I care about you, Daryl.  I can’t stand seeing you like this.’

‘Ya don’t regret what happened?’

‘Not a second of it.’

‘Good.’  Somewhere inside he felt a surge of victory but it was damped down by his concern for the woman that dominated his thoughts.  ‘I jus’ figured, what with yer job ‘n’ all, hookin’ up with an inmate…’

‘I know.’

‘Ain’t like we can be together.’

‘Not while you’re in here anyway.’

He fell silent for a moment, processing her words and trying to make sense of them before it hit home.  ‘I’ve got years, Lex.  Ya can’t wait for me.’

‘What if  you didn’t?’  She pulled back so she could train her eyes on his, unflinching and sincere.

‘What are ya talkin’ about?’

‘What if you weren’t locked up?  What if-‘

‘Stop.’

‘But, Daryl-‘

‘I ain’t tellin’ the truth, Lex,’ he bit out.  ‘I can’t.  I made my choice ‘n’ it’s too late t’-‘

‘I’m not talking about telling the truth.’  She’d considered that for all of a heartbeat before she’d realised that Daryl would never rat on his brother, so she’d had to find another way, another future for them both.  ‘I’m talking about getting you out of here ‘n’ gettin’ the hell out of dodge.’

Daryl’s jaw dropped.  ‘Doc, don’t ya go doin’ nothin’ stupid.’

Her eyes flashed as she opened her mouth to speak again, and he hoped it might be to elaborate on whatever plan was forming in her head, but she was cut off by the creak of the main door swinging open.

‘Time to go, Lexi.’

‘No, doc…’  She was backing away, and Daryl felt like he was losing her, though he knew she had no choice.  She was smiling at him, even as tears spilled down her cheeks.  ‘Doc, wait!’

‘I’ll see you soon, Daryl.’  Her footsteps were receding and he’d almost lost sight of her when she turned to meet his gaze one last time.  ‘I’ll tell Merle you said hello.’

Daryl sank back down onto his bed as he tried to make some kind of sense of her parting shot.  But even through his confusion, he couldn’t wipe the crooked grin from his face.  He had no clue what happened next, what sort of trouble she might get herself into with whatever scheme she was cooking up, or what in the hell his brother had to do with any of it, but just ten minutes in her presence had given him a sense of hope that had all but abandoned him up till now.  Because she cared, she really did, and it was enough for her to put every damn thing she had on the line just to see him again.  

 

* * *

 

 

As Alexa made her way back to the infirmary, the knot in her stomach tightened.  She had a plan, a crazy, stupid plan, but she knew she had to do something.  Because the only thing that brought her any peace these days was remembering the blissed out look on Daryl’s face as he’d moved inside her, and she knew she had to feel it again, to hold him close and find out all the little things about him that continued to intrigue her.  She’d already set things in motion, and now all she had to do was wait for the phone to ring.  It would, she was sure of it.  This time, it was her turn to save him and she wouldn’t let him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to this world just yet. I feel a sequel coming on… Thanks again for reading!
> 
> Update: Find the sequel, Wide Open Spaces, here - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18975799.


End file.
